Summernights Dream von Noemi_Tenshi (Xanatos x ??) ================================================================================ Kapitel 13: Ego Brain --------------------- Title: summernights dream Author: Noemi Tenshi Timeframe: After JA 8 Characters: Xanatos, OC's, Jedis, Sith,... Genre: Romance, Angst (?), Adventure Summary: Xanatos faked his death at Telos. Now he is on Naboo... Part: 13/17 You see my pain is real Watch a world disolve And pretend That none of see the fall As I turn to sand You took me by the hand And decleared That love prevails over all. [© System of a Down, Ego Brain] Xanatos sat on a chair watching Lyn sleeping. A slight smile tugged on his lips. But in his eyes were worry. Worry about many things. What to do with his fiancée and Lyn was one of his main concerns. He didn’t want to make Lyn unhappy – not again. But he didn’t want to lose the connections he gained through Lady cuXobande either. Lyn was stirring. Slowly she came to full consciousness. Again she first wondered about the softness of the bed. But the events of earlier came to her mind. The rescue and then... she blushed deeply. Xanatos and she had had sex She wanted to snuggle closer ro him, but besides her was a blank spot. He had left... . He had betrayed her... again – were her first thoughts. But then she looked over the room and saw the man sitting on a chair deep in thoughts. Lyn smiled and went out of the bed, the blanket covering her. Although the man had seen her naked, she felt akward. “Good... afternoon” she whispered, afraid she might disturb him. He looked up. “Afternoon” he said not really looking at her. Lyn became nervous. Obviously Xanatos had some worries. Maybe he regretted saving her or bringing her there. She lowered herself to his level. “Xan... what is bothering you?” she asked concerned. He sighed and pulled her in his lap. Then he leaned his head against her shoulderblade. “I don’t know what to do” he said truthfully, “about Essentiella”- Lyn tensed – “Don’t worry. I spoke the truth as I said that I don’t love her... . But I would like to have the conections which I gained through her” She nodded and startet to play with his hair. “Well, you could socalize with the vuXobandes to stabilize your connections” she suggested. “I could. But... don’t you have a problem with that?” he asked, sensing distress coming from her. “No. It’s just that... I am concerned about your wellfare...” He smiled. “Don’t worry. I can watch myself very well. After all, nothing has happened to me as I rescued you, did it?” “Hm. True, my... hero in shining armor” she answered. His smile vanished and he began brooding again. She let him be, spending comfort with her presence. After a while, Xanatos began speaking quietly: “I’m no knight in shining armor. Maybe once I was... but not anymore” Lyn listened carefully. “Once I was a Jedi. The best youngling at the temple... . Qui-Gong Jinn took me as his Apprentice. He saw me as a son and I him as... a father” - the last bit was whispered, almost unbelievingly spoken – “He became my family” Lyn’s eyes sadened at his expression. “Something happened” she guessed, “something bad” Xanatos nodded. “Yes... The council decided that I was to take a final test before my trials to become a Jedi Knight. They send us to my home planet, Telos. You must know, normaly the children don’t remember their previous home. Nor their parents” “That’s awful” Lyn interrupted him – then blushed. “Well, for them, it isn’t. They are to young to remember. And the Jedi become their new family. But I did remember. And as we got to Telos and I met my father... I got thoughts of remorse.... to replace my father with Qui-Gong... My father smiled at me and spoiled me the time I was there. I realized what I could have had. I had much fun with my father and every time he got sad about me leaving I got angry at the Jedi for denying me this. “In the meantime Qui-Gong discovered that my father had planed to manipulate the elections and start a war. He told me this, but I didn’t believe himanymore. I’ve lost my faith in the Jedi. I thought Qui-Gong was jealouse of my father... although it was the other way around. It came to war. And I, eager to please my father, lead his army. Qui-Gong lead the rebellion. As he saw me he was angry with me... and disappointed. But that I didn’t realize then. I thought he did this out of jeaulousy. He fought against me and I felt betrayed. He... killed my father. His ring fell into the flames. I took it... and I pressed it to my cheek... And I... all I felt was a never ending hate for Qui-Gong. I drew my lightsabre against him. I fell to the dark side. I embraced it and hated... and hated. I wanted to avenge my father... and myself. I killed many in the process. I destroyed thousands of lifes... . I am no knight in shining armour. Not in the slightes. I am a monster” Selfloathing clearly heared in his voice he told his tale – for the first time he told it to someone without twisting details. It hurt. He hadn’t imagined it to hurt so much. He thought he accepted it. Lyn kissed his scar, lovingly. “You are no monster. A monster wouldn’t tell his story. It wouldn’t feel remorse. It wouldn’t feel... love” “...Lyn. You need to know that I am no good man. I could start raving mad anytime. I fell to the darkness. It is within me” “But if you fall you can stand up again. And you did stand up, didn’t you?” “I suppose” he said slowly, “But I didn’t have any contact with the Jedi... with my past” explained Xanatos, “I faked my death to have peace... because my master was hunting me. And now there here and... feel my presence again as I feel his... and something darker than I was is lurking something menace” Lyn embraced the desperate man who had done many things that cannot be undone... and seen many things never to be forgotten. “Don’t worry so much. You just live once. And you should start enjoying it!” “How can I when I fear for the person I... love” He looked at her full of worries. “We’re going to watch out for each other. As you I am not going to let some mere Jedi do something to the person I love” she said serious. He laughed lightly. Her trust in him and the determination to protect him made him feel good. “Do not laugh mister!” He kissed her and effectivly shut her up about whatever she wanted to say next. ~+~ Aw. Again fluff... It’s the weather... it makes me sentimental I swear. Well and Xanatos is pretty much out of character... I know. But let’s just say he has grown up. No more hormonal rush. Hosted by Animexx e.V. (http://www.animexx.de)