Why Butters? von Moku ================================================================================ Kapitel 3: Chapter Three ------------------------ The moment Butters had approached him and asked his stupid question, Kyle had known that he was going to have a blast with the two equally stupid blondes. Both of them would make a scene on a daily basis without even knowing they made one, and besides math and vector algebra those meetings between those two actually made his day. So, when he noticed Kenny heading to their table with a determined look plastered on his face, he knew there was something about to go on. “You see that, Butters?” Kenny suddenly asked without forewarning, turning the other blonde’s head around to face the back of the canteen. Butters objected with a strangled sound against the rough treatment, but didn’t voice any further protest, just followed with his eyes to where Kenny was pointing. “That’s Tammy. My ex-girlfriend.” “Gee, Kenny, I know who Tammy is”, Butters frowned, loosening the strong hold on his head. “She’s a pro in giving head”, Kenny explained, ignoring the interjection. Butters face flushed beet-red and Kyle shoved his plate to the side, preparing himself for one of the best shows yet to come. This was going to be fun. “And even though she has a boyfriend right now, she once in a while would make an exception for me.” “Uhm… Ken-” “And you know what?” The hooded blonde now turned towards Butters, directly facing him, poking one finger against his chest. “I’m going to give her up, because I’m stupidly romantic and annoyingly loyal.” Kyle snorted at these words. Sure, Kenny never cheated on Tammy – or any other girlfriend he had, for that matter. However, the only reason Kenny could claim that was because throughout the month he had dated Tammy (and the others) he had broken it of with her the day before he was going to bed another girl. A few days later Tammy would call and ask what went wrong and they would be back together and if somehow word got out about Kenny and another girl he could always argue that that had been when they had a time-out. Kenny better not do that to Butters, Kyle thought. It wasn’t that Kyle liked Butters – or hated him. He merely… tolerated the nervous blonde, because, honestly, Butters was the kind of person who could pull the asshole out of everyone. Even Maria Theresia, beyond a doubt. It was just the way he wouldn’t fight oppression, the way he accepted every bullshit that was thrown at his face with a smile and without much of a fight; the way his eyes darted around nervously and how he would almost unnoticeably shiver like a gerbil whenever danger was near. He unwittingly awakened the urge to bully him. However, the really surprising thing was, that Kyle had never seen Butters cry. Not when some asshole thought it might be fun to stick his head in a toilet, or when Officer Barbrady shot his pet dog because he thought the animal was a Chupacabra in hiding (which he incidentally was but that was beside the point). He didn’t see Butters complain when some older girl asked him out for a party and let him wait about two and a half hours in the cold pouring rain just to drive by with her girlfriends and current boyfriend to laugh at him – the same boyfriend who by the way, one day later beat the shit out of him for talking to his woman. He did get angry at some of the shit Cartman pulled on him sometimes, but even though many of those things had been more than just plain cruel and painful, he came back smiling. Like when Cartman prostituted Butters to get the money for some game and the blond was nearly raped by two, stinky, old, sadistic bastards that wanted to take the boy double; or that one time when Cartman told Butters to take care of a goat and they found out the goat Butters was sitting was the mascot of a college in Denver and all of the football players came crashing down on him and beat him into a bloody pulp (Kyle still didn’t know what the hell had been Cartman’s intention back then). There had been that time, Cartman had told Butters his parents had died in a car accident even though they had just been on their way to the cascades up in Boulder. The blond had been devastated, but did not shed a tear but that might have been the shock in combination with Cartman, who all but abruptly decided to use Butters’ house as a drug lab. Butters didn’t notice much because he was distracted with funeral preparations and the fact that the medical examiner couldn’t seem to find the supposedly almost burned corpses of his parents. Kyle could go on and on with that list but he didn’t do pity well. Nevertheless, in some way, he admired Butters. Though Kyle would never admit that. Ever. However, Butters did not deserve a cheating boyfriend and as much as he loved Kenny, Kyle wasn’t sure that the perverted blonde could be the partner Butters needed and deserved. “However” Kyle returned his attention back to the objects of his daily entertainment, “the dumb blonde I’m about to date better be as good as that one.” Kenny again pointed towards Tammy, but Butters’ eyes remained on him. “Golly, Kenny. Ya shouldn’t make your ex-girlfriend cheat on her current boyfriend.” Kyle sucked in some air. “An’ ya shouldn’t talk like that ‘bout the one ya like. If it were me I’d be really hurt.” “For fucks sake”, Kenny cursed, clenching his fist. “You are so dumb.” With that, he left the table in a fury. Kyle couldn’t deny that he loved the desperation in Kenny’s voice whenever he talked to his almost-but-not-quite-lover. Butters furrowed his brows, before he turned to Stan and Kyle. “Nuhu, what was that?” he asked, confused. “Well”, Kyle drawled with a smirk, “I’d say you better start learning.” “Learn what?” “Fellatio.” “Blowjobs.” “Give head.” the other boys at the table answered in unison, though Token looked slightly disgusted with the fact that he actually answered that question together with Clyde and Craig. “Wh-What?! Why?” Butters squeaked, but was only rewarded with a middle finger, rolling eyes courtesy of Token and a very wide grin from Clyde. “You know what?” Wendy suddenly interrupted their manly bonding with her excited voice and a hand slamming on their table, a sheet of paper positioned under it. “We read about a course that shows you how to give a blowjob. The girls decided to go there. You can even keep the dildo as a keepsake. For personal usage if you want so.” Stan spat out his orange juice and looked at the dark-haired girl in horror, same as Butters, which was quite funny. “Wendy!” he yelped incredulously, but the girl just rolled her eyes. “So, Butters, what do you say? Want to come with us, seeing as you lack experience in anything sexual related? Just like Stan when I dated him. Hope for Kyle that had changed.” She cast a skeptical look at her ex-boyfriend. “Or should we take him with us, Kyle?” Kyle raised an eyebrow at her mocking provocation. “That’d be an excellent idea. He does lack some skill in that department.” “Kyle!” Stan choked. “Oh, I believe that. He never was any good with his tongue.” “Could you two please stop that!”, Stan yelled, face red and about to be buried in his hands in embarrassment. “And no, Wendy, Butters and I decline!” Kyle eyed the blonde who sat on the table, looking as confused as a few minutes ago when Kenny had left them, but face still red up to the tip of his ears, then at Wendy, who pursed her lips in a pout. Wendy and Kyle shared a healthy love-hate relationship, based on the fact that Kyle had officially started dating Stan, when the two had been on one of their many but last break-ups somewhere around the beginning of high school. Stan had accused her of hanging on to him basically for her own benefit because she had a disgusting thing for one of his friends and he maybe could have lived with the fact if it had been Kenny but nooo, it had to be Eric fucking Cartman and Wendy argued that Stan wouldn’t touch her because he was a freaking closeted gay and had a boner for his ‘bestest friend’. Stan then mentioned that it was one of the reasons she had decided to stay with him, because he wouldn’t touch her unless necessary and so it went on back and forth for about three hours and a half until the two were exhausted and sat next to each other, voices raw, shoulders touching, Stan with his chin on her head. “I love you”, he had whispered and she had smiled and answered, “but only in a platonic way.” Both had hugged and then started to plan how to seduce Kyle. Or at least that’s how they had confessed after Stan had gotten into Kyle’s pants. Motherfuckers. Kyle was still slightly annoyed, especially when Wendy mentions or hints on anything Stan and her could have done, because, even though he knew there never was more than a few innocent kisses between them, he still got incredibly jealous. And Wendy knew that. He actually liked the dark-haired girl and he liked to talk to her on a higher educational level than he could with anyone else, the same as he liked to get drunk with his friends and still laugh immaturely at farts and barfs – but she could still be an annoying bitch sometimes. “Is Bebe going with you”, Token asked, trying to not look as excited as he probably was. “Bebe suggested it”, Wendy answered, turning away from Stan and Kyle. “Alright, okay, I give up”, Kenny suddenly shouted, returning to their table and plombing down beside Butters, then looked up at his friends. “Did I miss somethin’?” he asked, noticing their amused glances and how Stan and Butters tried to play ostrich and hide their heads under the tables. “Nothing”, Token answered, continuing to eat his lunch. “Yeah, nothing”, Wendy agreed, purposefully pushing the sheet of paper towards Kenny when she turned around to head back to the other girls. The blonde picked the pamphlet up, scanned it before slaming it down. “We’re going.” “Come again?”, Token answered, the only one verbally reacting while the others just gaped at the crazy blonde. It was time, Craig probably assumed, to leave as silently as possible. He just stood up and showed everyone the middle finger. Kenny returned it, which led Craig to show both middle fingers, pointing inwards and then left the table. Token followed suit not even a few seconds later, with a petty excuse about him meeting Bebe in the janitor’s closet. Though, as experience had taught that might not be an excuse but the truth. Clyde didn’t leave but that was probably because he assumed the word we did not include him and therefore just continued to eat. Kyle didn’t knew why Token and Craig had thought the we included them. “I already told Wendy I’m not going”, Stan answered, tone suggesting that he did not want to press this topic any further. “And I don’t need to”, Kyle stated, smugly. “I beg to differ” Stan countered straight-faced. “Excuse me?” “You heard me.” “Stop flirting”, Kenny interrupted. “We know you love each other. However,” he threw a short glance at Butters before a wide grin spread over his lips. “If you want me to, I could help you with your studies.” “Excuse me”, Butters suddenly mumbled, pushing himself off the table. “I think I- uhm have to go to class.” His ears were still tinted red and he looked shyly down, when he picked his tray up to throw the leftovers into the trash can, but left the yogurt he hadn’t touched accidentally on the table. Kenny thought it was cute when Butters tried to be subtle. Kyle thought they were both retarded. “Alright, now that Butters’ gone”, Kenny started, turning to them while lowering his voice. “Do you know about Butters’ birthday?” “No”, Stan answered without a second thought. “When is it?” Kyle asked out of faked interest. “Monday.” “You’ve got anything planned?” “Of this week.” Kenny explained further. “… as in four days ago?” “Dude!” Stan exclaimed surprised. “I didn’t know.” “Neither did I”, Kenny admitted. “Tweek told me.” “Tweek told you?” “Yeah, after actually-” “No, no, no! Hold on! Tweek told you?!” Kyle was honestly kind of surprised. Kenny wasn’t a bad guy, but he was frivolous, dirty-mouthed, and energetic enough, to make the crazy-haired blonde nervous enough he couldn’t stop twitching if Kenny was even one foot around and so much as glanced at him. A civilized conversation was nearly impossible. “Yeah, after yelling at me how horrible of a person I am.” Kyle blinked and Stan stopped eating. “You see, I was going to the bathroom, when I heard the spaz pathetically apologizing to Tucker” – it was their thing to call each other by their last name, even though everybody knew that they shared some sort of strange friendship nobody wanted to exploit the depth of – “because he had to bake a cake for Butters by himself. So I asked him why they would make a cake for Bu—” “Hold on a sec there, dude,” Kyle interrupted again. “Craig? Baking a cake? For Butters?” The redhead tried to picture the other boy in the kitchen, electric whisk in one hand, holding the bowl with the dough in the other but somehow the face of the dark-haired boy was hid behind a big black censor bar. “Yeah, get over it. And they told me that it had been Butters’ birthday last Monday and that was the point when the crazy wreck actually yelled at me that I should at least know something like that about the person I… you know.” Kyle nodded like he understood. Though he didn’t. He didn’t know what it was that drew Kenny towards Butters and for his own sanity, didn’t even want to know. Love was a tad difficult to understand, because Kenny never had been in love. Lust was sort of urgh… because, really, Butters! Urgh! Maybe it was something like how a prostitute thought she loved her sugar daddy, because he provided her with whatever she liked, just like Butters supplied food. Kyle watched as Kenny stored the yogurt into his kangaroo pocket, probably to share it later with his parents and siblings. “Amatory tolerate?” Stan offered helpfully with an off-handed gesture. “He doesn’t tolerate.” “Well then, amatory attracted?” Kenny shrugged in resignation and buried his head in his crossed arms on the table. “If it helps”, Kyle started, trying to be nice. “Butters won’t care you didn’t know.” “Yeah, he probably didn’t even imagine you remembering.” Stan seconded. “I mean, you don’t do birthdays.” “Yeah, you don’t even know ours and we practically grew up together.” “That’s wrong. If you’d asked me I’d know when your birthday is, though when the day comes I don’t remember it’s that day.” “Same thing, dude.” Stan explained. “I still can’t believe it” “What? You can trust me for once!” “No, not that. How did Tweek do that?” “Do what?” “Get Craig to bake a cake.” “The same way I make you stop talking, when I get a headache from you bitching about Cartman.” “That’s it! That’s the couch for you!” Kyle growled, furrowing his brows. “What’s your problem anyway?” “My problem is you talking to Wendy about our”, Stan’s cheeks reddened as he cast his eyes down. “Love life in front of the whole school.” “Well, it’s you running to her whenever there is a problem between us.” “Because you tend to be a freaking stoic asshole when I want to talk about problems to you.” “Sorry I don’t wear my heart on a sleeve.” “You don’t get it, do you?” “Hello? Someone with a problem here?” Kenny finally interrupted their quarrel, pointing with his hands to himself. “I don’t see your problem”, the redhead stated dryly, glad to change the topic. “So, you forgot Butters’ birthday. Big deal. So did everyone else. It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last. People just don’t care about Butters’ birthday and they haven’t done so his whole life.” Kenny looked at him with something akin to disappointment and Kyle actually felt uncomfortable under his stare. “Well, maybe we should start caring.” Stan looked up from his task of massacring his broccoli, his voice quiet and earnest. “His birthday was Monday, right? So why not pretend we didn’t forget but wanted to celebrate on the weekend to party through the night? I think it would be good to do something nice for Butters for a change.” Kyle and Kenny looked at the dark-haired boy; the latter raising an eyebrow in question, while the first just opened his mouth to retort. “Fag.” “Oh come on! You know how I mean it!” “That’s why I called you a fag.” “Do you have some sort of marriage quarrel going on or what?” Kenny asked, leaning back in the uncomfortable plastic chair. “Guys! Hey, hey guys!” A fourth voice suddenly yelped into their discussion and Kyle’s face scrunched in disgust when he spotted the fat bastard dashing towards their table, slaming both hands on the wooden plate. “Ya goin’ to Bebe’s party at Tokens’ on Saturday?” “I didn’t know you were interested in parties, fat ass.” “Am not, dirty faggot Jew. Just ‘n info an’ thos’ parties are da best source.” “We could take Butters to that party.” Stan suggested suddenly, not even acknowledging the looming dispute between the other two boys, instead turning his attention towards Kenny. “Has he ever been to one of those?” “I doubt it”, Kenny replied. “Why’d you take that melvin to a party?” “For his birthday.” “… That had been Monday”, Cartman wrinkled his forehead in curiosity, sitting down beside Kenny who stared at him wide eyed. “You knew?” “Sure, have been tellin’ him for years he’s been the reason for 9/11. That sucker believed it.” “Why didn’t you tell me?” “Oi, why’d you care? Yer t’poor to celebrate. Turning into a fag yourself for this fagot? Anyway, don’t botha takin’ him to Token’s. He’d be just a mood killer fer all I know, whinin’ on ‘bout how his parents would ground him fer bein’ out late and all. Trust meh, I’d know.” “If we’d tell Bebe about it, maybe we could act like this was planned from the beginning.” Kenny almost seemed giddy, ignoring Cartman’s helpful advice. “Now you sound desperate.” Stan stated. “Why do you want to do something for him anyway? I thought you were trying to avoid him.” Kyle asked. Kenny didn’t answer, just looked down on the table, tracing the cracks in the wood with his pointing finger and Kyle knitted his brows. He couldn’t remember Kenny actually wanting to do something for one of his dates. Sure, the blonde was a great friend, he would run to their aid, cheer them up, ignoring his own pain in favor for his friends, but as great as a friend he was, he could be as bad a boyfriend after the honeymoon phase, which lasted about one to two weeks. “Bebe’s party it is”, Kyle finally agreed anyway with a deep sigh, ignoring Kenny’s happy grin. “But it’s your task to get him there. I will talk to Bebe, maybe she can arrange something.” “Dude, you planning on congratulating him there?” Stan asked, surprised. “Bebe is… and hopefully it doesn’t end in an embarrassing muttering of ‘Who is Butters?’” with that said, Kyle stood up and left the table to find the curly blonde girl. If he was lucky she wasn’t yet with Token in some broom shed or closet and he could arrange everything and it could be done and over with. He spotted the girl, when she was about to separate from her group of friends, books pressed against her chest “Bebe, I need a favor.” ~.~.~ “You lost him?” Kyle asked disbelieving. “Yeah, I lost him.” Kenny confirmed, looking around the room, searching the faces for an innocent dump blonde burden. “Among the things you have told me today, this one is the most unbelievable.” Kyle paused to contemplate that statement before he shook his head. “No, the most unbelievable was when you told me you told Butters to get dressed again.” He paused. “Gross.” “You are no help.” The redhead didn’t answer; just let his drink swirl in his glass. Everything was going as planned. He had told Bebe and she started to babble about how she didn’t know and oh my gosh, what a fabulous idea, Kyle! She even forgot her date with Token in the janitor’s closet over her brimming excitement, and started to uninvite most people then and there, making a few cry because they probably thought they were banned from the It crowd Bebe and Wendy – nerd she was – unmistakably belonged to. As far as Kenny had told him, everything was going smooth on his part too – to a certain point of time. He went to fetch Butters, climbed the tree in front of the blonde’s window and saw the boy practically naked, changing to his sleeping wear. Kyle, knowing Kenny, could imagine how much his friend probably had to restrain himself to knock on the window instead of continuing to watch his own nude show. After telling Butters to get dressed again, answering to the question “Why” because they were going out and stopping every protest of “But my parents” and “What if” and “I don’t think” beforehand by turning around so Butters could get dressed. They left for Token’s house, walking in silence, Kenny a few feet ahead – Kyle assumed because his blonde friend was again unreasonably aggravated - a state he was in whenever Butters was near. And right on the front porch, Kenny heard a muffled sound, turned around just to find Butters gone. “So, how can you lose a sixteen year old boy?” Kyle asked himself, taking a swig from his glass. “You tell me”, Kenny replied, head in his crooked arms. “Well, you have to think positive.” “HIV-positive?” “That was sick”, Kyle replied dryly, but otherwise chose to ignore that statement. “You can find a better lay.” “It’s not about sex, Kyle”, Kenny snarled enraged. “Why don’t you understand? I thought you of all people would know were I’m coming from!” “Yeah, maybe, but let me ask you a personal question.” “Shoot ahead.” “Why Butters?” Kenny glared at him. “You can be really despicable sometimes.” “Cheer up dude. As long as it’s you, you can hook up with whoever comes in next.” Kyle said turning towards the archway, which separated the entrance hall from the living room, they were currently occupying, together with dozens of other people neither of them knew. “You bet,” Kenny said, turning around and leaning with his back against the integrated bar. “How much?” “I don’t bet on that.” Kyle raised an eyebrow. “Fifty bucks.” “Deal.” “You know you are too easy, don’t you?” Kenny didn’t even react to that statement, just eyed the archway. “The next person coming in, right?” “Yeah, female, male, don’t care.” “Me neither, as long as they aren’t Cartman.” “Alright, dude, thanks for that mental image.” Kenny smirked. “Oh sick.” Kyle whined and then they watched in silence the entrance, Kyle taking a sip of his lousy spiced orange juice, though he needed more of that vodka to get that picture out of his head. Gross. “Bebe doesn’t count by the way”, Kenny stated suddenly when he noticed the blonde girl heading to the front door. “Wouldn’t want Token for an enemy.” “Whatever.” They watched as Bebe left the living room. They couldn’t see the front door from their spot and Kenny tried to crane his neck to get at least a glimpse of the newcomers but soon gave up, as he apparently couldn’t get anything. “Taking their sweet time, don’t they?” The blonde mumbled impatiently, when Bebe entered the room again without company. “She sent them away?” “Had done that a lot today”, Kenny voiced, raising an eyebrow in question. “Yeah, she said she didn’t want any assholes for ‘Butters’ party’.” He looked at the garland above his head that read “Happy birthday, gorgeous” in multicolor metallic colored letters. And that was, when Stan entered the room. “Hell yes!” Kenny whooped, before Kyle could even process. “Hell no!” Kyle barked, but the grin on his friend’s lips only widened. “Speaking of dreams coming true.” “No, dude! The next person, you hear me!” “Spoilsport.” “Keep your hands of him.” “You know,” Kenny started, voice serious, while they watched Stan scanning the room, probably looking for them. “When it comes to Stan, you are strangely possessive. It’s not like he would cheat on you.” When the dark-haired boy spotted the two at the bar, he smiled brightly at them, then looked to the entrance hall and gestured at someone to come in. “If it were me, I would be far to frightened of you. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, you know?” Kyle ignored Kenny, as Stan frowned at the entrance hall before he left the living room again. “What’s he doing?” Kenny only shrugged. “Getting me my fifty bucks, I guess.” And that’s how Stan dragged in Butters. “Hell yes!” Kyle whooped, scaring the shit out of the guy next to him, who expected the redhead to empty his drink in his lap. “Hell no!” Kenny cried desperately. “Talking of dreams coming true.” “Dude! That’s not funny!” „Don’t be a spoilsport.“ “I can’t just go and snog Butters.” “You can do with others.” “But they aren’t Butters.” Kyle watched his friend out of the corner of his eye, shaking his head due to the ambiguous behavior. Kenny wasn’t complex in his love affairs. If he liked them, he would date them. Period. The problem with Butters was that he liked him even though he didn’t want to, resulting in him being aggravated 24/7, pushing Butters away, which made him feel guilty and try to do something nice, for which he hated himself even more and God, this could be funny if it wasn’t so freaking annoying. “Hey guys”, Stan greeted them, still holding Butters’ hand. “Who’s birthday is it”, Butters stuttered, avoiding to look at Kenny. “I-I don’t think I’m invited.” “It’s alright, Butters,” Stan assured with a warm smile. “Didn’t Bebe see him at the front porch?” Kyle addressed his question towards his friend, who shook his head in response. “Bebe opened the door, started flirting, I sent her away and when I was about to close the door he all but fell into my arms.” Kyle smacked his hand to his forehead. “So much for a surprise” “Where have you been?” Kenny asked annoyed. “I-I-uhm-Eric wanted to ta-talk ta me.” “About what?” “He said I was a persona non grata or somethin’ like dat. Said I’d ruin the party an’—” “We get it”, Kyle interrupted, searching the crowd for that fat bastard. “I don’t understand what that guy is scheming again. Just ignore what he said”, he smiled reassuring at the blonde. “And you owe me big time” he addressed at Kenny, then left to find the Queen of intoxicating parties. As experienced proved, Token’s house was really impractical, when it came to finding people. The first time he had been in the villa he got lost in the hedge maze together with Kenny, who was eaten alive by a monster calling the botanic labyrinth his home. The second time he accidentally stumbled into the adult playroom and, gross, he didn’t need to know that about anyone’s parents. Why didn’t they lock that stupid room? For further visits Kyle had demanded that Token gave him the blueprints of his home to avoid any of these accidents and mapped the layout in his head. However, that didn’t make finding someone any easier besides that he could now find his way back and avoid any of the rooms marked by Token – with the comment of ‘You might like to avoid those places’. He finally found Bebe in the kitchen, sitting on the centered kitchen neck, staring out the window and probably listening to the muffled bass of the music. “He’s here”, Kyle said upon entering, noticing that the kitchen had their third new coating of the year. “You think Token would be thrilled if he heard I was pregnant?” the blonde girl replied off-topic. “… That explains why you’re still sober at,” he glanced at his watch, “quarter pass nine.” “Asshole. I’m serious.” “Me too.” Bebe hopped off the kitchen counter, turning towards Kyle. “I shouldn’t have asked you.” “Seriously, I don’t know why you are worrying about something like that. Are you stupid? That guy loves you. It’s disgusting how much”, Kyle explained. “The only thing you have to worry about is how he would turn into a complete mother hen as soon as he hears about it. Trust me, that Token looks like the kind of guy that either gets pregnant with you or won’t allow you to do anything. He will probably get you a wheelchair immediately, and god forbid you carry your own books to classes. He will either do it himself or pay someone to do it. Now, can we get back to Butters?” “Didn’t Kenny lose him?” “Yeah, and Stan found him. So, up you go.” “I can’t. I have to wait for Wendy and Token.” Kyle raised an eyebrow in question and contemplated asking further or just let the topic be. “Wendy thought a birthday cake might be a good idea, and Token said he knew a bakery in Denver but they haven’t arrived yet. Maybe in half an hour or so.” She sighed, fumbling with a strand of her hair. “It never occurred to me to ask Butters when his birthday is. Strange, don’t you think so?” “Not as strange as you telling me suddenly you are pregnant, which you probably are not.” “I thought I was.” Bebe confessed. “I was about to have a nervous breakdown, when I didn’t get my period.” “Sick, Bebe!” The girl just started to laugh, and Kyle though he might have heard her muttering something about his sexuality but he wasn’t about to explore that topic further, instead just motioned the girl that he would leave the kitchen. She soon picked up on his gesture and approached him, still grinning. “You know.” Kyle started when they entered the crowded living room, pressed together on their shoulders. “If you were pregnant, you’ve got friends you can talk to. Wendy, Clyde… me…” “Softie”, was all she answered as she bumped their shoulders together and then headed in a different direction, winking at and yelling someone’s name he didn’t recognize. Kyle was not comfortable in big crowds and used to avoid them at all cost. During High School he had to get used to parties, bodies rubbing against his and girls he didn’t knew hanging over him for whatever reason – mostly because they were dead drunk and couldn’t stand and Kyle unfortunately was standing next to them when their legs would give in. He made his way through the dancing teenagers, pushing a guy hard against the shoulder when that inconsiderate asshole wasn’t even thinking about making way for him and blocked the open doorframe with him hanging on his girlfriend’s lips. Though, if the fuss that broke loose after he had gotten past the boy was any indication that girl hadn’t been his girlfriend. Kyle snatched a few beers from a guy holding bottles up, and then returned to his friends. Stan was still holding Butters hand and the blonde was still trying to vanish behind the freetime-sports-player-and-stand-in-for-whichever-team-needed-one. The redhead wasn’t sure whether he should be worried or annoyed, but seeing as that melvin was doing the Tweek and looked around like he expected a murderer jumping out behind the couch, he could overlook the fact that Stan was acting like a mother hen. Especially considering that that murderer was probably Cartman. Kenny on the other end eyed the clutched hands with distrust, arms crossed in front of his chest. Obviously everything but pleased but at least making an effort in not showing it on his face. “If you don’t stop, it’ll stay that way,” Kyle claimed, throwing him a bottle, which Kenny caught with practiced ease. He didn’t even think about offering Butters one and Stan was known for keeping as far away from that stuff as possible since his last encounter that had unwittingly made him star of a homemade internet porn video. And a bad one at that. “You want one?” Stan asked the blonde, who had eyed Kenny opening his bottle with the lighter but turned away as soon as he heard the question, shaking his head. “A coke or orange juice?” Stan tried again. “A glass of milk maybe?” Kyle suggested sweetly. “Am fine, thank you.” Besides the part of Butters whining about his parents going to ground him, Cartman’s prediction had been pretty accurate. By now, Stan would be usually on the dance floor together with Kenny instead of taking care of a little kid. Kyle on the other hand would wander the house and look for interesting books or find something else to do. Everything was better than him on the dance floor. Not even Kenny or Stan’s lead could make a difference, which was one of the reasons he usually stayed home when Stan and Kenny went to parties. He mostly felt out of place and bored and getting smashed wasn’t something he called his hobby since the first and last time, that had not only left him with a painful headache but had taken his virginity as well, without any kind of memory but a video that was all over the internet the next day. Talking about decent coming-outs. Fucking cola-whisky mixture. All in all, Kyle hadn’t only lost his way, and friends in that house, but his virginity, too. What was that villa? The freaking Rose Red Manor or what? Kyle rolled his eyes, remembering his mother’s uproar and his father’s apathy and all the people posting helpful advice under the comments on Youtube; such as “OMG, use some lube, dude!” or “Oh, that must’ve been painful.” “Hey guys!” a loud voice interrupted his thoughts and he looked up from the bottle he had been staring at. He barely spotted Bebe near the plasma TV, sticking out the crowd as if she was standing on a chair, holding a microphone in one hand. “Oi shut up!” She yelled, the microphone screeched, and the crowd tuned it down. “Someone I share a special relationship with has turned sixteen last week!” Kyle knew what kind of ‘special relationship’ the girl was talking of. They have been growing up together, more or less been through so much shit together. Sure, they fought, they quarreled, they insulted each other but that just resembled the relationship he shared with his brother. The South Park kids didn’t hang out as much together as back in their elementary school years but there was a strong bond between them, not because they knew each others darkest secrets, but because they had memories together and those memories made Bebe squeal with joy when Kyle mentioned Butters’ birthday. Those memories made them look out and care for each other, even if some haven’t talked to each other for over a year. One call and they would be there, standing by your side whatever it was. They could even talk to Kevin who had left South Park a few years ago, who had never sent a letter, and left without a second word; because who else could understand them better than someone who was used to the craziness of South Park and as fucked up as them due to their hometown? There weren’t that many people, whose parents tried to rebuild the arch of Noah and than fought about who was allowed on the arch, almost killing half of the adult population, while their kids watched in annoyance and decided they would let them just kill each other and dismiss all the talk about flooded sewers and South Park soon swamped by masses of shit, literally. If that didn’t make you connect, what did? “I’ll be honest, I didn’t know.” Way to honest Bebe. “But those guys over there”, she pointed towards them and a few people turned their heads but most just wanted the music to start again, “pointed it out. So, let’s use this party to congratulate him all. Let’s give a loud cheer for Butters!” There was a loud uproar of congratulation cheers, Kyle was pretty sure that everybody tried to figure out who Butters was and where the hell did he stand? so they could pretend to know him and at least clap in his direction, and Bebe dashed towards the surprised blonde and embraced him in a tight hug. Butters however just froze, hand still held by Stan. Kyle was getting irritated. “Happy birthday, sweetheart!” Bebe wished and the crowd behind her suddenly parted and made way for Wendy and Token, both holding a cake, decorated with a few candles and Butters’ name. “Don’t you think that’s a bit too over the top?” Kenny whispered in Kyle’s ear, leaning to his side. “Dude, it’s Token. Everything he does is over the top.” “Happy birthday Butters”, Wendy said, but Butters couldn’t even get a word out, just stared at the cake dumbstruck, before he turned towards Kenny, who looked to anywhere but him. “Did-did you know?” he asked. “His idea”, Kyle stated, saving them the trouble of dreadful minutes of denying, stuttering and then yelling and what else their conversation usually consisted off. “I – I…” “Butters”, Wendy said warmly, smiling at the shy blonde. “Just say thank you.” He looked at her, before he cast his eyes down. “Gosh, this is really. I…” Stan squeezed his hand, and Butters at least tried to make an effort. “Thank you all. I have never… even with my name” Wendy stopped his babbling with a sudden hug, leaving the weight of the cake only on Token’s hands who could barely avoid a disaster. “I just saw that cake on the floor”, Stan mumbled and the other two nodded in unison. After Butters had blown out the candles on the cake and someone yelled that they now should start with sack race and egg and spoon race - Kyle just hoped the retard was being sarcastic - the music started again and Wendy dragged Butters towards the dance floor through the crowd of rowdy teenagers, who patted the blonde on the shoulder, winked at him, or simply congratulated him, even though, Kyle was sure none of them have noticed him before. “Was there a reason for that?” Kyle asked as soon as they were left alone, to no one special, but Stan still took up on the innuendo and just shrugged. “Dude, he was shaking like a leaf and scared as hell.” “Just asking”, Kyle replied simply, taking Kenny’s hand and dragging him to the far end of the room, where a few kids had gathered around the pool table table. “Do I have to become your revenge?” Kenny asked in a bored tone, leaving the empty bottle on someone’s table. “You are not my revenge. Stan’s just horrible at pool billiard and I feel like playing. It was a mutual understanding when we both decided that Stan was never to play again as long as he hasn’t taken at least a few lessons.” “Not cool, dude.” “Neither are you.” “Charming, now aren’t we?” “Always the gent.” Kyle wasn’t the best player by far, no pro material, but he was fairly good with the cue. He was surprised himself after playing it a few times with Craig and Clyde, but found it soon self assuring, seeing as he lacked skill in all the sports Stan aced in. On Kyle’s part, it was just a question of arithmetic and math. ‘I’m bad at math’, had been Stan’s defense back then. ‘That’s why you are bad at pool’, had been Kyle’s plain answer. Stupid as it was, it was painful to watch Stan play billiard pool. He would either destroy the fabric of the table, shoot the balls across the room, or nearly gouge somebody’s eyes out. Kenny on the other hand beat Kyle on a regular basis, because he was a freaking jack-of-all-trades. There was nothing the blonde couldn’t do, just the things he decided he didn’t want to do. Kenny was pushing some random guys to the side and grabbed their cues, threw one to Kyle and scared the shit out of another upper classman who previously eyed him with suspicion but than fled the table as soon as Kenny threw him a dirty glare. “Dude, your reputation is really down the drain.” “If I had to decide between a walking cheat sheet or a rough, drunken down, drug addicted bad ass I’d chose the latter.” “At least when people see me, they don’t hide themselves in their own locker.” “No, they just push you in that locker.” “Asshole.” “Prick.” “Butters lover.” “That was low.” “That was true.” “Mine too and I didn’t stoop that low.” Kyle smiled, when he set the cue down. Inane chatter and name-calling was sometimes the best therapy against aggressions and Kenny was one of a few that actually got involved into verbal abuse and liked to fight back. Cartman did too, but with that fat ass everything turned serious soon. Kyle wanted to have fun, not wonder about why the fuck Stan was holding Butters like it was the only thing keeping him in place. It was bugging him more than he liked to admit. For God’s sake it was Butters. Everybody who wanted to have a sexual relationship with that baby face was a sick pervert. Kenny was a sick pervert, yes. But not Stan. Kyle couldn’t tell how long he had let Kenny beat the shit out of him and he didn’t really care, he just thought it was the right time to stop, when some drunken girl tipped out her Heineken over Kenny’s black tight-fitted shirt he usually hid under his brown hoodie, which he had put to the side when he noticed that Kyle was better at that game than he had expected. The drunken brunette winked at Kenny seductively but he just dismissed her with a bored gesture, stole the bottle off her hand and emptied the rest himself before he started for the bar. Kenny was clingy when he was drunk and Kyle didn’t want to be the literal pillar of support through the night, so he threw someone the cue and left to find whatever there was to find. Whether it was alcohol, food, books, or Stan. Instead of the favorite four he found Butters, sitting on the edge of a couch, knees bent and body tilted to the opposite side of a couple making out beside him. Kyle sighed, before he opted for his semi-friend and pushed the obnoxious girls off the couch. “Show some class, man”, he said, nudged one of the girls against the leg and as he had her attention, pointed to the upper floor. “Third room to the right. Make sure the web cam is turned off; otherwise you will find your video all over the Internet. I’m talking out of experience.” God forsaken cola-whisky. One of the girls smiled devilishly before she snatched the hand of her girlfriend and pulled her up the stairs. “How’s it going, Butterpie”, Kyle asked, when he dropped down beside the blonde, keeping enough distance so that the boy could finally get comfortable on the couch. “I… I’m a bit overwhelmed,” he confessed. The redhead didn’t answer, just leaned himself forward, elbows leaning on his knee and chin cupped in one hand as he spotted Stan on the dance floor with Wendy. That guy was so going to sleep on the couch tonight. “How so?” he asked, turning his face finally towards the blonde. “I’m really thankful and that cake was really delicious but I-uhm don’t know half the people here.” “Trust me, about eighty percent don’t know you, too.” And the twenty that did, were the people that bullied him on a regular basis, wherefore Kyle wasn’t surprised when Butters more or less had jumped to the side when they wanted to greet him in their drunken condition. They belonged to those people that would congratulate him, just to give him a present, that turned out to be a skirt in which they would let him parade around high school. That was, in only that skirt. That happened before. Kyle didn’t know why none of them regarded Butters as a South Park kid even though, they were constantly beaten to a bloody pulp by none other than über-badass Kenny McCormick and his partner in crime, Craig Tucker. Actually, there was an unwritten law in their high school. Don’t mess with South Park kids. That law had been established generations before them and continued down to the youngsters. There was only a slight diversion from their generation and that was the add-on: Because you don’t want to mess with Eric Cartman. Wendy was known in high school for being school president and for not only being smart but also nice and cute. Bebe was known because she couldn’t get rid of that obstinate rumor of her being easy and doing it with everyone in school. Stan was fairly famous because of his sports – whatever it was he decided to play at the moment. However, Cartman was known by everyone. There had been cases of kids moving away and changing their names to get away from that personified evil, because they had rubbed him the wrong way. Their current principal was already counting the days until Cartmans’ graduation, while his predecessor quit barely a month into their first year at high school, because he couldn’t handle the bastard’s manipulation. You just don’t want to mess with Eric Cartman. However, Cartman was oblivious to the subtle tricks and bullying Butters had to endure, or at least pretended to be, and Butters would never tell on someone, which was the reason that even Kenny only noticed about one third of what they were doing to him. “Yeah, that too,” Butters admitted and looked down on the coke he clutched in his hands, drawing the attention back to him. “But I don’t know what I’m s’posed ta do.” “You should just have fun. Don’t worry about anything, the girls just wanted to do it, is all.” “Bebe said it was Kenny’s idea.” “Practically.” Kyle noticed the blue eyes flicker towards Kenny, who was currently engaged in a drinking competition, cheered on by other teenagers. “Let me ask you something”, he started, startling the blonde for a second. “Who do you like?” “I uhm, like everyone”, the Butters answered, blushing. “So you like Cartman?” Butters dropped his gaze. “I don’t hate him… much…” “What about me and Stan?” “I like you both, but...” “But?” he probed, making Butters cringe. “I-I like Stan a bit more.” Kyle frowned and even felt a bit insulted. Until he realized that that answer was probably justified. He wasn’t an annoying goody-goody like Stan for sure and since he found out about Butters and Kenny he had become worse in teasing the stupid blondes. “What about Wendy?” “Wendy is a really good friend and she helps me with my homework. But she can be scary at times. So I guess, I like her a lot?” “Kenny?” He watched as the eyes of the blonde lit up and reflexively flickered to the drunk, who started to built a beer pyramid of the cans he had emptied in that stupid contest which he was about to win as far as Kyle could see. “I guess, I-I like Kenny more than Stan.” Kyle raised an eyebrow and contemplated, whether he should whack that fucker over the head for that answer. “You trying to make me angry?” Butters eyes widened. “No! I-why would I? I uh, know I shouldn’t like Kenny that much, but I think it can’t be helped and you know, I know that he would never want to be my friend anyways, but then you tell me that he organized that” he spread his arms to emphasize the ‘that’, “I-I kinda get my hopes up that maybe he likes me a little but-but the next day he treats me like I wasn’t there and I don’t complain because I’m used ta that and all an-and Tweek tells me he’s a good-for nothin’, and that I one day will end in jail, where people will rape me and then ah – but I don’t believe that, I mean it’s Tweek, ya know? An’ I think that Kenny’s a great guy and works hard in school and at his part time and I think it’s great how he shares with his family. I-I can understand why he wouldn’t want to be my friend, I’m not cool like you and Stan—” “Dude, you’re head over heels.” Kyle stated, mainly to quell that nonsense rambling. “Wh-what?” “Just analyzing.“ Butters fell silent and just stared at his coke. When Kyle thought the conversation was over, he heard him whisper, so faint he wasn’t even sure whether he had imagined it. “Yes.” “Yes?” Butters looked up with an earnest look. “Yes. I like Kenny. A lot.” “Don’t tell me, I know that. I thought you didn’t know”, Kyle answered, leaning back against the cushion of the couch, spotting Stan now dancing with Bebe and that asshole had even the audacity to bat his eyelashes at him. “Does Kenny know, too?” That made Kyle actually laugh and he noticed out of the corner of his eye that Stan raised an eyebrow in question. “I doubt it. … You intent to tell him?” Butters looked up again. “I … no. No.” Kyle only shrugged. That was to be expected seeing as Kenny was completely ambivalent when it came to Butters and that made him crueler than even Cartman. At least with Cartman Butters knew where he stood. With Kenny, Butters never knew whether the blonde wanted to embrace him in a tight hug or throttle him with bare hands. Kenny probably wasn’t sure either. Butters yawned, and Kyle saw his chance to fled that boring party. “You want to head home?” He asked, standing up from the couch, extending his hand towards the blonde. “What about the party?” “The party will survive without us. Most of the people are already dead drunk and I would like to be home before they decided it would be fun to puke all over each other.” Butters hesitated, before he took the offered hand and let himself be helped up. They both headed through the crowd towards the entrance hall, when Butters suddenly stopped. “What about Kenny and Stan?” “Don’t care,” Kyle answered. Kenny was a big boy and Kyle had to spike a couch with needles before that boyfriend of his came home. “Shouldn’t we at least ask?” Butters stuttered. “Or… or tell them that we are leaving?” “Dude, just tell me when you’re jealous, for fucks sake!” Stan suddenly intruded on their conversation, emerging out of the mass made of bodies. “You always have to play the freaking Drama queen, don’t you?” “Oi! You wanna leave?” Kenny shouted across the room, cutting his way through the crowd of dancing teenagers, getting rid of a guy that dared to grab his ass. That guy would be dead meat tomorrow if he dared to cross Kenny’s path again, Kyle assumed. “Yeah, it’s late and little Butterbean has to watch The Sandman else he can’t sleep”, the redhead explained. “So I offered to bring him home and tuck him away safely in his bed. I will even check under his bed for monsters, so you go and have your fun.” “I will bring him home”, Kenny stated. “I don’t think that’s a good idea”, Kyle answered hesitantly, eyeing the dirty blonde haired boy. “Why not?” Kenny demanded. Because Kenny was a clingy drunk; he was a touchy, seductively and all over honest drunk. The qualms he had when sober about touching Butters were certainly lost when intoxicated. “You are drunk.” Stan finally answered. “I’m not drunk. Maybe mellow.” “Dude, you won that drinking contest!” “Because the other guy’s a pussy, Stan.” “I will not let two drunken guys go home together.” “I’m not drunk.” Butters defended himself. “You are”, Kyle argued back. “Nuhuhno, I only had coke and orange juice.” “Trust me Butters, you are. You just don’t know.” Kyle explained as if talking to a little child. If he would just suggest it long enough, the blonde would eventually buy it and by the way, he probably wasn’t lying. There was no non-alcoholic coke and orange juice on these kinds of parties so Butters must be a least tipsy. “It’s alright, Kyle”, Kenny eventually said, hugging Butters shoulder with one arm. “I’ll bring him home.” The redhead frowned, before he shrugged. “Don’t come crying to me.” Kenny just shrugged and the four of them got dressed and parted at the crossing a few feet from Token’s house. Butters bid them goodbye, nervously eyeing Kenny’s hand in his – for not getting lost again – and Kyle just turned around and headed his way, followed by Stan who soon caught up to his level, blowing his hot breath into his hands. “It’s freaking cold.” “It’s freaking South Park”, Kyle retorted. “If you are pissed then tell me. Don’t be a sissy.” “I’m not pissed.” “Sure. I can just imagine you coming up with a hundred of ways to make that disgusting couch even more uncomfortable.” “Maybe water. I could lie to you and tell you, it’s just pee.” “Oh come on! I was nine!”, Stan fret. “I don’t pee in pools anymore! And I wash my hands before I leave the restroom, for gods sake! So stop checking the towel every time I leave!” “Or maybe thumbtacks.” “Alright, I get it, so you are angry!” Kyle didn’t answer. “So what? You jealous about Butters? Or me dancing with Wendy?” “Why should I?” “Stop. Being. So. Fucking. Passive aggressive!” Stan yelled, stopping Kyle with an arm around his stomach. “You know, I’d really wish you would talk to me.” “There is nothing to talk about.” “The hell there is!” “It’s not your problem that I turn into a sissy and get angry about something stupid like you dancing with your ex.” “You don’t want to dance. And I like Wendy! There was a reason we were dating for so long!” “I guess there was.” Stan took his arm from Kyle’s stomach and rubbed his hands against the fabric of his pants. “Why is it that you are always so distant about everything? I’ve been your best friend for years and we haven’t fought as much as we are doing right now. You don’t want me to kiss you in public, I’m not even allowed to touch you. You don’t even want to talk to me about important stuff anymore. Before we started dating we could talk about everything and I could always touch you.” Stan stopped and turned his head away, trying to hide his blush. “That is, I don’t want to touch or kiss you nonstop or so. I mean, I do want to touch you and fantasize about you in class or—” Kyle could feel his face heating up. “That is, I don’t do that very often. Maybe when I see you in PE but it’s not like I get the urge to just drag you in some random closet very often. I mean—” “Dude!” “I can’t help it!” Stan defended himself desperately. “I’m not affectionate but it would be nice to not have a book thrown in your face just because you want to kiss your boyfriend once in a while!” “I don’t throw books at you!” “Of course you do! Remember that one time in the library, when no one was around and I just leaned over and you push your history book in my face because ‘there might be cameras around’? Or that one time, when I just mentioned that I would like to kiss you and you threw a pen at me? Dude, a pen?” “That’s because you make me act stupid!” Stan blinked. “I don’t understand.” “You don’t have to.” “Of course I have to! Don’t you realize? We will never stop fighting if you can’t talk to me! Get over your freaking complex and just tell me, for fucks sake.” Kyle bit his lower lip, crossed his arms in front of his chest. Stan waited a few seconds, before he turned around. “Alright, keep to yourself.” he growled, throwing his hands in the air. “See if I care.” Kyle hesistated until he noticed that Stan really wasn’t going to turn around again. He watched his back, the bare hands balled to fist, while the dark-haired boy tried to keep them warm with rubbing them against his pants. The red-head let his arms fell to the side, helpless. “If you kiss me I want to kiss you back.” Stan stopped and Kyle didn’t know where to keep his hands. “And if I do,” he continued, lowering his gaze to the grey pavement of the side walk, “I will skip through school like a deluded crack addict on meth. It’s not that I don’t want to touch you but if you do I don’t want you to stop and—I can’t believe you made me say that!” Stan finally turned around and Kyle pressed his lips together, spotting the satisfied smirk on the others lips. “Stop grinning like a lunatic, Stan Marsh!” But the boy just started to approach him again. “You’re cute.” “Don’t say that!” “I love you.” “Don’t say that!” As Stan reached the other, he just leaned forward, giving Kyle a peck on the cold, red cheeks. “Stan!” Then on the lips. “I mean it!” “Want to continue on that disgusting couch? You get the cola and I get the whisky?” Kyle pressed his lips together, before he gave a resignated sigh. “I hate you…” He mumbled, lips in a pout, but started to walk again, Stan by his side. “You know, I think Kenny and Butters do fit each other”, he suddenly said, touching Stan’s arm with his gloved hand and then pulling his cold bare hand into his pockets. The dark haired boy looked at the clasped hands, before he smiled warmly. “How come?” “Because they are both stupid.” Kyle simply answered, squeezing the hand. “Just like us.” ~~~ Kyle looked at Kenny, face hid in his crossed arms on the table, a disturbing smirk on his face, while Butters had asked a girl in the back to change seats upon entering their math class and now sat as far away from Kenny as possible. Kyle leaned against the windowsill, arms akimbo, while Stan pinched the base of his nose. “So you did what?” he asked, rotating his hand to coax the answer out, though Kenny couldn’t see that. “I jumped in front of an oncoming truck.” They heard the muffled answer through the arms and Kyle’s smirk only widened. “I’m dead earnest“ Kenny whispered, now looking up to his friends. “Why Butters?” “Well…” was all Kyle answered, before he saw Ms. Abel walking into their classroom. “Because you are both stupid.” He finished, then headed to his seat leading Stan, who couldn’t stop pinching the base of his nose, to their places. Hosted by Animexx e.V. (http://www.animexx.de)