YGO - My Abridged von MajinAkuma (The Kings of (Card) Games) ================================================================================ Kapitel 2: Hot Chick -------------------- The five protagonists are discussing about their children's trading cards... a children's card game that is so complicated that younger children cannot play it probably, and it is dominated by teenagers and adults. Especially adults. Atem: "Gentlemen, I want to talk about the hot chicks in our decks." Judai Yuki: "Hot chicks?" Atem: "Yeah. Something that makes our hormones go crazy. Cards which are so sexy that they become instant fan favorites." Yuma Tsukumo: "I don't know if it applies to everyone, but I guess you're right." Atem: "Of course, I am. After all I am the King of Games." Yusei Fudo: "Aren't we all King of Games. I, for example, am the King of Riding Duels." Judai Yuki: "Yeah. I'm not only the King of Games, I am also the Supreme King." Yuma Tsukumo: "Isn't that supposed to be called 'Haoh'?" Judai Yuki: "Actually, that's right, but do we call ourselves 'Yugi-Oh'?" Yuma Tsukumo: "I don't know. Is it 'Yugi-Oh' or 'Yugioh' or 'Yu-Gi-Oh'?" Yusei Fudo: "That's why we call us 'King of Games'. Well, Yuya isn't one. He is a noob." Yuya Sakaki: "Excuse me, I am not a noob, I am a newbie. I haven't even won my tournament yet." Judai Yuki: "In which episode are you, anyway?" Yuya Sakaki: "42. But I have read some spoilers. Major spoilers." Atem: "Guys, don't switch the topic and let us focus on the main topic!" Yuma Tsukumo: "We haven't even started yet." Atem: "Silence! Now it's time to present our hot chicks!" (drum roll) Atem: "My Dark Magician Girl!" Judai Yuki: "Oh, that's hot!" Yuma Tsukumo: "Hoooh!" Atem: "Hahaha! Nothing can beat the Dark Magician Girl!" Yuma Tsukumo: "Really? I have the young and sexy Gagaga Girl!" Atem: "Hmph! Yours is just a rip-off of my Dark Magician Girl. You always try to imitate me. And you always fail." Yuma Tsukumo: "I don't imitate you!" Yuya Sakaki: "If you realy want a cheap rip-off, here is my hot chick: Performapal Trump Witch!" (silence) Atem: "The hell is that?" Yuya Sakaki: "My hot chick. And only female monster. Besides my Hippo Tokens." Atem: "Yeah, I can really see that this card is a cheap rip-off of the Dark Magician Girl. You also try to imitate me, Yuya." Yuya Sakaki: "I don't. This card was designed by little girl who won a drawing contest. This was unavoidable for me." Atem: "How old was she?" Yuya Sakaki: "I don't know. Nine?" Judai Yuki: "Okay, guys. It's time for my hot chick! The blazing beauty who walks in the city of Skyscrapers. With burning passion, she scorches everything on the Starlight Road. Elemental HERO Burstinatrix! The hottest chick ever!" Yuya Sakaki: "You exaggerate, Judai." Judai Yuki: "Sore loser. Just because my monster is censored and yours won't be." Atem: "Well, my Dark Magician Girl gets censored all the time." Yuya Sakaki: "My Gagaga Girl, too." Atem: "By the way, Judai. Why Burstinatrix?" Judai Yuki: "What?" Atem: "Why do you choose Burstinatrix? Shouldn't you pick Yubel?" Judai Yuki: "...I'm so screwed now." Yubel: (in Judai's head) "Oh yes, you are." Yuma Tsukumo: "Okay, it's time to see Yusei's hot chick!" Yuya Sakaki: "Yes!" Atem: "You were so quiet, Yusei. What's your hot chick?" Yusei Fudo: "...You really wanna know?" Judai Yuki: "Of course, bro!" Yusei Fudo: "Well, then. I have no choice..." (the tension goes up) Yusei Fudo: "It's Sonic Chick." (silence) Atem: "Really?" Yusei Fudo: "Really." Atem: "...That's odd." Yusei Fudo: "Hey, okay! I have no female monsters other than that. Mine are all Machines, and Warriors, and Dragons. I have the manliest deck of us!" Judai Yuki: "I don't agree with that, man!" Yusei Fudo: "Seriously, Judai! Your heroes are not manlier than my Warriors!" Atem: "Well, Yusei's right. After all, his deck is even manlier than the majority of my deck. But seriously, why don't you have a hot chick?" Yusei Fudo: "I don't know. I found most of my cards in junk." Yuma Tsukumo: "That explains everything." Yuya Sakaki: "Aren't your cards junk, too?" Yuma Tsukumo: "No! They are just mistaken for garbage!" Yuya Sakaki: "...I don't need to comment on that." Judai Yuki: "Okay, but Yusei, having a hot chick wouldn't hurt your deck, right? Something that makes your little best friend down there happy." Yusei Fudo: "I don't need that. My girlfriend Aki has the biggest breasts of the entire franchise after all." Atem: "Well, I acknowledge that her breasts are two cups larger than Anzu's. And Aki's boobies are bigger than Mai's." Yusei Fudo: "I know, right. I have a real hot chick in real life." Atem: "Everyone of us has one. I have Anzu!" Judai Yuki: "I have Asuka! Atem: "What's with Yubel?" Judai Yuki: "She's always inside me, anyways. We are more intimidate than all of you." Yusei Fudo: "You're contradicting yourself." Yuya Sakaki: "I have Yuzu." Yuma Tsukumo: "And I have Kotori." Atem: "But she is flat as hell. Disappointing fanservice!" Yuma Tsukumo: "Are you kidding me? Have you seen her freaking short skirts! She's on par with all of your girls!" Yuya Sakaki: "But don't have all girls in your world short skirts." Yuma Tsukumo: "Yeah, true, but-" Yuya Sakaki: "Yet, you never manages to get yourself under their skirts." Yuma Tsukumo: "Hey, I need only Kotori! Your Yuzu doesn't even provide fanservice!" Yuya Sakaki: "Because the writers are more focused on making her a good female lead. Unlike your Kotori or Atem's Anzu." Judai Yuki: "Well, only time will tell when Yuzu is about to be brainwashed. This happened to all female protagonists, after all. Asuka became so white and ice cold." Yuma Tsukumo: "That pun was lame, dude." Yusei Fudo: "I remember when Aki was mind-controlled by Divine. I also remember when she was crazy before and whipped me with her Rose Tentacles. She still does this to me in bed." Atem: "That's right. Your girlfriend can make Duel Monsters real. What about the New Solid Vision, Yuya? Do you sexually abuse your monsters." Yuya Sakaki: "No, because I have only animals, two magicians and Trump Witch. But, I saw some people riding the Dark Magician Girl during Action Duels. And Yuzu likes to summon her monsters to play with me, you know." Judai Yuki: "Yubel does similar things to me." Yuma Tsukumo: "I would actually like to play with Kotori's CXyz Dark Fairy Cheer Girl?" Yusei Fudo: "Wait, did you say 'fairy'?" Yuma Tsukumo: "Yes?" Yusei Fudo: "I remember that I have another female monster in my deck?" Atem: "What?! If it's a hot chick, then tell us!" Yusei Fudo: "My real hot chick is..." (drum roll) Yusei Fudo: "Effect Veiler!" (silence) Atem: "Still better than Yuya's Trump Witch..." Hosted by Animexx e.V. (http://www.animexx.de)