Split soul   von Gepo
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                Kapitel 18: Unwanted memories and consequences
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>I concur that I do have feelings. I feel disgusted.< His alter ego coldly
informed him.
Seijuro looked up and found himself in front of the screen. It showed a shogi
board and Shintaro opposite him. Where was he? What time was it?
>Sunday afternoon,< his alter ego answered. >I took over the body when you
vanished. You gave Ayako quite a fright. As I couldn´t reach you, we decided to
go to a safe place and wait. I passed the time with some shogi.<
>Where is Ayako?< Seijuro felt numb. He felt this new memory lurking in his head
but he didn´t want to think about it. It felt like death wrapped in decay. He
could smell it, taste it, he just didn´t want to.
>She is chatting with Kazunari. Natsue and Kikyo are playing in the garden.<
Seijuro just stared at the screen. He suggested a move and his alter ego
explained why that would be a bad idea and what he wanted to do instead. They
continued to play for a few minutes. It made Seijuro feel a bit more like
himself again. Shogi was his thing. It was a social activity he shared with
Shintaro.
>Do you want the body back?< His alter ego asked him.
>I don´t know. I think I just want to keep sitting here.<
>Okay.< Akashi was unusually agreeable. >Well, I am still waiting for your
break-down.<
>Break-down?<
>You do remember Sei´s memory, right?<
>Yes.< No. He did but he didn´t want to. He vehemently refused to remember. >I
don´t want to face it.<
>It does bring some consequences with it.<
>You deal with them.< He knew he sounded like a petulant child but he just
didn´t want to do this anymore. Living was just not worth it. Too much pain,
too much sadness. He didn´t want to return.
>As you wish.<
“Shintaro,” Akashi addressed the man opposite him. “How did you find out
you were pregnant?”
The man looked up and kept silent for a minute. They were used to that. He often
thought about his answers to phrase them correctly. Sometimes that took a bit of
time. Finally he said: “Kuroko told me. He noticed that when I was pushed I
instinctively protected my abdomen when I fell. We went to a clinic, I got
tested and was informed of my pregnancy.”
“What kind of test was it?”
“A blood test. Though an ultrasound would have made more sense but it did not
want anything foreign in my ass back then. You need to wait one day for the
diagnosis with only the blood test.” Shintaro watched him. “I hope I am not
presuming too much but do you think Ayako could be pregnant? The procedure is
different for women, they can take an urine test.”
“So it is more difficult for men.” Akashi nodded and placed his chariot.
“I think this is my win again.”
Shintaro looked at the board and sighed after a moment. “So it seems.”
“Which clinic did you go to?” He began to put away their game.
“It is actually a clinic for Omegas but they know more about male pregnancies
than normal gynecologists. I am going there again for this pregnancy. They also
provide an emergency appointment system which normal clinics do not have.”
“So it is possible to go there at the weekend?”
“Yes, they are open until six o´clock today for example. They also have
doctors on call for rape situations at night.” Shintaro stroked his belly.
“I feel well-cared for there.”
“Is it far from here?” If their responsible personality did not feel up to
this, it would fall to him as always. A blood test wasn´t bad. He wasn´t sure
about the ultrasound though. But with those new memories it was to be expected
that Seijuro would be squeamish anyway. If an anal ultrasound needed to be done,
he would get it done. He wasn´t held up by petty emotions after all.
“It is about half an hour by train.”
“I´d rather take my car.” Akashi stood and stretched. “Will you accompany
me?”
Shintaro froze staring at him. The redhead was used to it, so he simply waited
for his friend´s gears to turn. As he didn´t understand implications, he
wouldn´t have thought about the reason of being asked all those questions. So
the following question wasn´t unexpected: “Why would you want to go
there?”
“To check if I might be pregnant.”
“Why would you need to check that?” Shintaro´s voice sounded emotionless,
his default program when he was unsure what to do.
“Because I was raped. It seems a sensible thing to do in this situation.”
Akashi held out a hand to help his friend up. “Will you accompany me or
not?”
“Of course I will.” Shintaro kept hold of his hand, even after he stood.
“Who, Akashi?”
“Who do you think?” The redhead smiled wryly. “There is only one with
enough control over me.”
“He is dead.”
“He died inside of me.” Akashi snorted. “If it wasn´t so disgusting, I´d
say it was a fitting end. I always wanted to be the death of him.”
“Akashi ...” Shintaro´s voice actually sounded anguished.
“You have become too compassionate, my old friend. I need you functioning for
this. If you hinder me because you suddenly developed feelings I don´t think I
need your help.” He knew his words were cutting. He could hear Seijuro wince
in his head. Pathetic humans.
“I´m sorry.” Shintaro schooled his features. “Does anyone else know about
this?”
“No. I plan to keep it that way for now. Go tell your husband you want to go
for a check-up and I will accompany you. Think up some believable lie,” he
ordered the other.
“Yes, Akashi.” The other man nodded.

“And you were right, here it is.” The doctor smiled at him and turned the
monitor. “Congratulations, you are pregnant.”
If the man expected some positive reaction, he would be disappointed. Akashi
watched the monitor with clinical interest. There was a head and a body. The
arms and legs were curled and not easy to see. Around it was a black orb. So he
did have a womb. And a child. That was unfortunate. He asked: “How old is
it?”
“Let´s see.” The man tipped something into the machine, clicking here and
there to measure the thing. “It´s about as big as a strawberry, so you are
ten weeks pregnant.”
Ten weeks. So he had already been pregnant when his father died, even if it had
only been a few days. Sei must be ecstatic. She was able to overthrow him, so
abortion was most likely not an option. He would have to plan for the disruption
this would bring to their business.
“Can we get any more information from this scan?”
“No, that´s it.” The smiling doctor removed the ultrasound head. “You
bore this really well. But somehow that child got inside you, right? It gets
less uncomfortable with time.”
Akashi made a noncommittal sound. Shintaro was handing him some wipes which he
used before dressing himself again. What a bother. With this Seijuro would
definitely not come back for some time. He would need to balance work and this
pregnancy. What was he supposed to do about his relationship? He was fond of
Ayako but relationships took work and he wasn´t keen on handling it on top of
the rest. And who could he trust enough to handle his company?
“At which time will this pregnancy be visible? When will it be born? And when
can I return to work?” He fired his questions at the doctor.
“One thing after another, young man. First things first. Let me ask you some
questions about your symptoms-”
“I don´t have any,” Akashi replied in annoyance. “Listen, I am not an
Omega. I am not exactly interested in this, I just want to be done with it. I
won´t be allowed to abort it, even though I´d like to. So please give me a
short version.”
“Oh.” The doctor blinked at him while his face fell. “I am sorry. You
could have mentioned this wasn´t voluntary.”
“Why can´t you abort it?” Shintaro asked him.
“That´s a long story I don´t like to divulge right now. I just know I won´t
be able to. Accept that.” He sent the other man a scathing look.
“I´m sorry.” The green-haired man lowered his head. They went back to the
seats in the room. Shintaro stroked his abdomen in deep thought.
“Alright.” The doctor sat, his face a lot more serious and a lot less
smiles. “For now I need a blood test. There are different diseases you need to
be tested for. Until then, here is a set of rules you need to adhere to if you
want this pregnancy to work.”
Akashi stared at the pages provided him before picking them up in obvious
distaste. Great. More obstructions. He offered his arm for the doctor to draw
blood which he did in silence. That was a lot more bearable that his innate
chatter before. He scanned the list while the doctor worked.
No coffee.
He already hated this. It would lower his effectiveness to a near unbearable
level. How should he fit eight hours of sleep into his schedule? He would need
to cut back on the expansion of his empire. No basketball. That was no problem
if Seijuro stayed down. He disliked having no work-outs but it´s not like they
were possible with this kind of restrictions anyway.
“Alphas often keep from showing due to their strong muscles. It is also the
reason why a lot of babies born from Alpha males are born prematurely. It can
lead to disfigurements as well as lung and immune system problems. Therefore it
is of utmost importance that you stop any kind of strenuous activity
immediately. Even carrying a bag is too much. You need to do your best to make
your muscles go lax to provide your child with the best prerequisites.” The
doctor scanned his face, most likely for discomfort. It´s not like he would see
anything.
“When did you start showing?” Akashi asked Shintaro, expecting a more
helpful answer from him.
“In my sixth month. I got a Cesarean in my seventh. I was showing for about
six weeks but no one would have seen if I wore a cardigan.”
“Good. It means I can work right until birth.” That was good news. “So you
need to cut it out in about four to five months?”
“There might be all kinds of complications. There could be bleeding in which
case you would need to stay in bed. Stress is not good for your baby. Alpha male
pregnancies are notoriously difficult.”
“I would not be saddened to lose it,” he coldly informed the doctor. “I
need to plan preemptive measures in case I am not that lucky. My company
doesn´t run itself.”
Shintaro closed his eyes beside him. He could hear crying in his head. Really,
he would never understand why people liked to have emotions. They were such a
bother.
“How long will I need to heal after a Cesarean?”
“The wounds will stab over in about two weeks, after that they will need a
month to close completely.” The doctor´s voice had lost all intonation.
“So I need to plan for about two to three weeks of absence. How soon will you
be able to give me an approximation on when that will be?”
“A rough estimate about two weeks in advance, an exact date in the same week,
a week before at max.” The man looked a lot older now that he did not smile
anymore.
“What will you do with the child?” Shintaro asked him.
“If Ayako wants to stay around, she can have it. If she doesn´t, Tetsu
already offered to take any child I might ever have.” Oh yes, that reminded
him: “They can be fed formula from day one, can´t they?”
“It´s not good for them but possible.” The doctor looked at the table.
“Your child will stay in the intensive care ward after birth anyway.”
“Even better. I don´t want the thing.” He folded the papers given to him.
“Is there anything else we need to do now?”
“I could tell you about your child and it´s development in the next weeks,”
the doctor offered.
“It doesn´t interest me as long as it does not pertain me.”
“You might get morning sickness. You might also get lower back pain. You might
have mood swings and rectal discharge.” The older man was talking to his pen
most of all.
“Is there anything I can do about it?” This was such a bother.
“You can wear pads for the rectal discharge. They can be bought from maternity
shops, supermarkets and online. For the rest there is a list of medication you
are able to take safely. To keep harm from the child, you should not take any
medication not on that list.”
“I do not own medication and have never taken any.” He took the list anyway.
It was always good to be prepared. “Anything else?”
“No, that´s it for now. I´ll call you with your blood results.”
“If possible, don´t call in my work-time. That is from eight in the morning
to nine in the evening if I have to follow this regime.” He was giving the
papers a bad look. “There is a window of time not filled with meetings between
five and a half past six, that might be best.”
“I´ll note it down.”
“I´ll have to rearrange my whole schedule for this.” He turned to Shintaro.
“How do you stand this?”
“I am looking forward to having my baby,” his friend said in a small voice.
“So I´ll just have to deal with it. Like always.” He bowed to the doctor.
“Thank you for your time. I want to kindly remind you that any word breathed
to the newspapers will result in the end of your career at least.”
The doctor neither bowed nor answered.
“Though I do reward loyalty. Don´t disappoint me.”

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