He wanted to do nothing more than see that face now, feel that embrace; soaking wet as he was.
And even though he knew the chances were more than small, he somehow still hoped. Hoped to find that familiar silhouette unter the dim, yellow lightpole of the streetlamp, that stoic, calm figure, like he had once already within their first encounter.
He hoped to see that special shape of hair, spiked up like a star, the sides short, blonde with black parts in the back of his head
He wanted to see that smile, the slim brows swinging upwards within the motion.
He wanted to feel those hands brushing down his back and stopping on each side of his hip, supporting him a little while he himself lifted his slim body onto his tiptoes to reach for those kissable, plush lips with his own pair.
He knew he fucked things up this time and the cold raindrops that smashed against the tender skin of his face, stinging like needles in their familiar company of icy wind, made it clear that shit was boiling worse than ever - and that was his fault only.
His lungs screamed for air but burned with every cold heap of air they were fed with through the pale, parted lips; his legs begged for a break from all the running but his mind was far too spellbound to that small flicker of hope to even notice he'd soon reach his body's very limit.
The pain in his heart was far too prominent to leave room for anything else to feel or sense - his head only knew one destination and let his spent body follow the path without even recognizing it, recognizing anything.
The thin fabric of his summer school uniform clung to his skin and allowed the wind to slip between its knots like the hands of a hungry lover, claiming the skin underneath it in a layer of goosebumps.
The guilt got stuck in his throat and made it hard to breathe at all, even though, physically, his lungs were flooded with air again and again as he kept his spry tracks.
He knew that if he wouldn't see that face soon, he'd definitely turn insane under the weight of culpability on his slim shoulders that shook in a light sob as he started crying, unnoticed.
Finally.
Finally!
Coming closer to the corner his steps slowed down.
His chest heaved under the deep breaths and it was then when his heart fell down from its usual, safe spot in between his ribcage somewhere to he ground for a second. A bright, red umbrella, shining under the said pale lightpole, a blond scalp hidden underneath it, and a thin line of smoke that swung its way upwards into the rain that kept dashing down onto the black asphalt.
The grey linen sky was split several times by the high buildings of the cityscape that soared out of the black like the slivers of a long ago burst thoracic cage. His breath was still shallow and uneven, deep, while the air he exhaled went into the air in small clouds where it mingled with the ones of cigarette smoke soon.
His thoughts came crashing down on him cruelly. What if his presence wasn't even wanted in this very moment the other seemed so peaceful and content with his own company and that of the umbrella and a cigarette.
His gaze wandered towards the black silhouette of the person he had been longing for so eagerly, but now he simply didn't dare moving. His long lashes fell onto his wet, reddened cheeks for a moment, allowing his eyes to gain a little strength and focus again as he kept staring at the tall body slowly turning around.
And his heart stopped.
Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street
So I'm not moving.
The red umbrella rose like a morning sun over the bleached blonde head, a pair of silver eyes fixing their gaze onto the smaller's amber ones, taking the fragile male's breath away even further, making it seem even more impossible to think straight, live on.
The moments that had put the both of them into this desaster passed his mind once again, the plush lips of the brunette against his own, his drunk head, the way they danced with each other. And yes, he knew the other had been watching. He had been aware of those orbs out of crystal lying on him.
What he failed to notice, back then, had been the hurt look in them.
He had tried to put fuel into the fire of their relationship by making the other envious.
He knew what a heated head his boyfriend was when it came to protecting what he claimed as his very own, yet, he had never seen him like this before.
Outraged and exhausted at the same time during the next school day as he tried to avoid the smaller blonde as much as possible.
"Are you happy now?"
The simple question, spoken in that low, already manly voice of his friend - they were still friends, weren't they? - made him shiver. He didn't care about the coldness in his limbs; the gaze that now laid on him was way more chilling.
Bright grey eyes fixed his like in a dead grip but no movement of emotion grazed the taller's face as he spoke on.
"Are you happy with breaking me?"
The fragile, shivering frame of a boy needed to squeeze his eyes shut for a moment.
He couldn't stand that gaze. Couldn't stand the hurt and disappointment clearly written in the silver pools that belonged to the man he loved. Loved so dearly it hurt.
"I thought... I... I was wrong.. so wrong.. and I'm just so sorry for what has happened..."
"Just a little insight won't make things right."
Again, the deep voice cut like a knife into his already aching head and numbed him for a split second. He was right. So awefully right.
He took a shuddering breath before he dared to open his eyes again, looking at a hurt face. Hurt and tired and kind of... well, lost.
"Come here already."
Soothing, the voice sunk in volume and the former stone-like face turned softer.
Waving his hand at the younger, the tall blonde leaned his head to the side; the cigarette he had been smoking before laid dying on the wet asphalt.
Slowly, the smaller made one slow step after another, finally reaching the shelter of that red umbrella, feeling the warmth radiating from that oh so familiar body, and only then did he recognize how cold he himself was and how much he was freezing actually.
The smell of cologne and that of the leather jacket that clung so perfectly around the broad shoulders of his lover touched his senses which appeared to have been numb before, now gathering everything about the other like starving from that presence after only two days of no contact - scent, appearance, and tone of voice.
A warming arm slipped around his slim shoulder and dragged him along, down the hill he had been running up just a few minutes ago.
And from the suddenly calm and content look on the other's face he could tell: the struggle had been worth it.
They walked in silence until they came to stop in front of a house the younger knew. He had been there several times and the missing lights in the windows reminded him of the fact that the other's parents had been off for the whole weekend - a weekend they had planned to spend together.
Moments suddenly felt so much more precious to the small blonde and, without realizing it, he dug his fingers into the neat leather of the other's jacket.
In that very moment, he felt the fear of being left alone creeping up in his back.
He swallowed the hard knot in his throat away and breathed in deeply before following the taller inside the warm house.
"You need to take this off."
A warm palm was placed onto his chest.
Could the other feel his heart hammering against his ribs? Could he feel that his breath tried to catch up with the racing rhythm of the strong muscle? Could he feel the high voltage he himself felt lying underneath his damp skin?
He felt like being wholly consumed by the elder's presence.
In the warmth of his home, his scent seemed even more alluring, infatuating.
"Akira..."
"Later."
A featherlight kiss on his already half naked, wet shoulder. "Later."
And he claimed what was his very own.
