Repercussions
I DO NOT own Saber Rider and the Star Sheriffs or Sei Jushi Bismarck, they are owned by their respective animation companies.
The Price of Peace
Chapter 23: Repercussions
A couple of hours later, they are waiting outside the sick bay trying to catch Commander Eagle. "I don't care, what those nurses say, I'm going in!" Colt says and shoves the door open and enters the Critical Care Area. He grabs the first person he sees. "Where is Commander Eagle?" he demands of the first person he sees.
The startled nurse looks at him frightened, "He's down the hall on the left. Last room," the nurse stammers.
Colt releases the nurse and she runs off. He nods and Fireball and April follow him. They go to the room as directed and open the door to find a smaller room, with a larger room on the back. In some chairs Commander Eagle is sitting talking with Dr. Izumi. They look up when the trio enter.
"How did you know to come here?" the commander asks.
"I drug it out of a nurse, sir," Colt replies.
"You shouldn't be here. Any of you," he replies forcefully.
"They are our friends, father. We want to know what's going on," April says concern in her voice.
The commander sighs, "I'm not able to tell you, April. I'm sorry."
The door opens and Saber comes out looking very fatigued. He stops and gives the commander a questioning look when he sees the others.
"They found out where you were. I've not told them anything, Saber," he replies to the unspoken question.
Saber comes over and plops down heavily into the chair. He looks at each of his friends watching him with concern in their eyes. "Sit down, we need to talk," he mutters nodding to some vacant chairs. They do as they're told and Colt starts to say something when Saber holds a hand up to stop him. "Please, let me speak first," he says quietly, not bothering to mask his fatigue or worry. Colt nods and Saber searches for the words to start, "Amanda and I will not be returning to the Bismarck. I cannot in good conscience allow her to continue to fight given her situation. I never should have allowed her to go this time. But she and I had both agreed to try and minimize what we did. And yet, in the thick of it, we did the very thing we said we wouldn't do. And now...we have not only risked our lives, but the life of our unborn child. We will not risk that again." He hears the collective gasps of shock from his closest friends. "Our intention was to tell you after the end of the first trimester, which would have been next week. We only found out a week ago and we have still been adapting to the idea." He pauses, trying to think of how to continue, "Amanda is physically going to be okay, as is the child. The cuts she received were not where the baby is, so they both were lucky. However, the emotional and psychological trauma from this..."
"Amanda is strong. She can get through this, Saber," April says.
"Yeah. She's one of the strongest women I know," Colt says.
"The man she fought against and killed was her former fiance," Saber says quietly. "I'm not so sure she will be okay at this point, at least not mentally. She hadn't even gotten over the fact that she had killed Sean, then to have to kill someone that she had..." he stops, afraid of breaking down.
"All any of us can do is be there for her and show her and you support, Saber," the commander says quietly. "I think all things considered, you both have been lucky that things are not worse. Had I known that she was pregnant, I never would have allowed either of you to go out. I would have gone in your place."
"There is more to tell you, but I need to talk to Amanda first. I'm hoping that the doctors can give her something to help her relax a bit, so that she doesn't completely lose it. I know she is close to breaking down completely, and I also know that stress can harm the baby."
"Are you okay, Saber?" April asks after a period of silence.
"Physically, I've been worse. I've got a rather bad headache and a cut on my head, but it didn't even need stitching this time. I'm mentally exhausted. I feel like I should have been able to prevent this. That somehow, I should have come around sooner and killed him myself. That's twice now she has had to kill, and I know that this time was worse that the last, because of who she killed."
"Saber, you can't go on blaming yourself for this. Amanda is going to need you to be her support. To show her that in spite of everything you love her and that she can continue living. That will not be easy regardless, but trying to put on a positive front while punishing yourself for something you had no control over isn't going to help you do that," April says, coming over and placing a hand on his shoulder.
Saber looks up at her and nods, "You're right, April. I know that. But I still just feel so..."
"Helpless?" she offers and he nods. "Look, things have not worked out the way you thought they would, but think of it like this, Saber. You taught her to defend herself, she would have died otherwise, and she is strong, but I'm sure right now she is totally overwhelmed. Had we known about her condition we never would have had either of you come along. We would have gotten someone, like my father to help. It would have worked out."
Saber goes to say something when the door to the room Amanda's in opens and a nurse comes out, "Captain Rider, your wife's awake and has asked for you," the nurse says quietly.
"Thank you," he replies and gets up,"Excuse me," he says as he takes a breath and heads into the room, closing the door behind him.
Upon entering he sees her look up and he manages a weak smile as he comes over and takes her hand. "I'd ask how you're feeling, but..." he starts to say.
She squeezes his hand, "I'm numb," she says barely a whisper.
"I'm sorry, Amanda. If I could I'd take back everything that has ha-"
"Saber, we can't take it back. We have to try and move on. I know that, but I'm not sure how to do that. I've done things, seen things that I never imagined I would. I know that I had no choice but to do what I did if I wanted to live. He was severely misguided, I was hoping I could reason with him, but he was too far gone," she finishes tears falling down her cheeks.
"I'm not sure I could have done what you did, Love. Had it been Sincia, I'm not sure I could have killed her, no matter how misguided she was."
"My thoughts were in protecting you and our child, Saber. That is the reason I did it. I want to live so we can have this child. I want this child to have a chance to grow up happy and loved. Perhaps the nightmares will go away. I know in my head that I did the right thing. It's just harder because at one time I did love him, although the love I felt for him is nothing like what I feel for you," she says sounding tired.
Saber leans over and kisses her forehead. "So do we just try and move on then? Try and look at this as a thing we have to get through to become stronger?" Saber asks aloud.
Amanda nods slightly, "I want to try. But I cannot guarantee that I'll be okay all the time. I'd be lying if I said that, and I can't lie to you."
"Well, I need to tell you something about what's happened," Saber says a bit nervously.
"What?" she says quietly eyeing him with concern.
"Evidently, when I got hit in the head or whatever that was that happened that knocked me out, my vision has actually improved a little," he says with a hint of a smile.
Amanda looks at him shocked and then smiles weakly. "So you can actually see more than outlines?" she asks.
He nods, "Although I am still sensitive to light. So perhaps if I can get some sort of tinted prescription glasses I'll be able to see well enough to do more than what I've been doing. I don't think I'll ever feel safe driving, and reading may still be difficult, but it's better than it was. I know it could still be temporary, so I'm not getting my hopes up. But, Dr. Izumi has said he wants to run a few tests on my eyes and see if he can get some glasses made for me that might help."
"Do the others know..." she pauses, "about your vision and about our child?"
"Not the vision, but I have just told them that you are pregnant," Saber replies.
"How did they take that news?"
"They were a bit shocked," he replies with a smile. "I wish you could have seen their faces."
Amanda smiles, "I bet it was good." she falls silent for a few minutes in thought, "How about Commander Eagle? I have a vague recollection of him coming in with you and you and him talking quietly, although I couldn't make out anything that was said."
"Well, he was rather stunned about the entire situation. I've not mentioned the increase in my vision to him, so unless Dr. Izumi has said something, he doesn't know about that. He is not angry that we went. He understands why, he just wishes that we hadn't gone, because of the risk to the child."
"Well, I assure you that I have no desire to go back out to fight. It isn't worth the risk to our little one or our lives. I want us both to be here for this child," Amanda states.
A knock at the door causes them to turn, "Come in," Saber says.
Commander Eagle enters and studies their faces, "How are you feeling, Amanda?" he says as he approaches her bed.
"I've been better, sir. I'm going to have good and bad times, I know that. But I am determined to get past all of this. The good that has resulted from this outweighs the bad in the long run," she replies quietly. "I do think I'm going to be rather sore for a while though."
He nods, "If you need anything, Amanda do not hesitate to say something. If it is within my power, I'll see that you get whatever you need."
"Thank you, sir," she replies quietly. "How have the others taken to our news?"
He chuckles, "They were a bit shocked, to say the least. They all were saying they had no idea because you didn't act like Robin did."
"How have they been regarding the other situation, sir?"
"A lot better than you have. Colt thinks quite highly of you. He saw the end of the fight. He was about to shoot when you..."
"Killed him," Amanda finishes, the commander nods. "Well, I didn't know that he was there, not that he could have done much. I tried to reason with him, but as I told Saber, Derrick was too far gone. He was not the man I used to know. Not at all, so I suppose in a way that has made it a little easier to bear. I just don't know what I'm going to tell Sarah."
"Who's Sarah?" the commander asks.
"Derrick's sister. But she is also Alex Mackenzie's wife," Amanda says quietly.
"Mackenzie? He's the one that turned out to be your brother, isn't he?" the commander asks, getting a nod in reply. "So she is your sister-in-law, either way." he pauses in thought, "I will talk to her and to Mr. Mackenzie if you wish. Perhaps hearing the news from me would be better. I might be able to just tell her that he was killed, and not tell her how."
"I'd rather her know now, otherwise, if she finds out later, she will think I was trying to hide it from her. That might ruin what bit of a relationship we do have," Amanda replies.
"Then I'll go and talk with with Mr. Mackenzie and his wife. He was injured, but only has a mild concussion and a few minor lacerations. I think he'd do all right talk to me for a while. The others would like to come and see you. Are you up to that yet?" the commander asks.
Amanda thinks for a minute and sighs, "I suppose it would be okay, if you're amenable to it, Saber."
Saber nods, "I've already talked with them some, so if you are fine seeing them, it's fine with me."
The commander nods, "I'll send them in when I go to see Mr. Mackenzie," he says as he turns to leave, stopping at the door. "Remember my offer, that goes for both of you," he states before leaving and letting the door close behind him.
Amanda slinks back against her pillows and lets out a dramatic sigh and wipes the last of her tears away. "I hope they let me out of here soon. I'm sick of hospitals," she says grumpily.
Saber chuckles and kisses her lightly, "As soon as they make sure that you and the baby are all right, I'm sure they'll release you. They will probably keep you another day or so, since they want to monitor the baby as well." Amanda looks disappointed and he smiles, "I promise, Love. The moment they release you, we'll go home and I'll do anything for you ask."
Amanda grins, "I am not going to let you wait on me. I'm not an invalid."
Saber starts to make a remark, but sees the look she gives him and thinks better of it. "I don't think of you as an invalid, Love. But I owe you my life, so if you need something that you can't do or just don't want to do for yourself I'll help, okay?"
Amanda smiles, "Okay, I'll accept that." She starts to say more, but a knock at the door halts their conversation.
"Come in," Saber says and the door opens and Colt, April, and Fireball enter.
"Hey," Colt says cheerfully coming up to Amanda's bedside.
"Hi," Amanda replies quietly.
April comes over beside Colt and smiles, "Congratulations. I hope everything is okay with the baby."
Amanda nods, "As far as the doctors can tell, we were lucky."
"I'm glad to hear that," April says.
"It was a bit of a shock though," Amanda says quietly. "I never got really sick like Robin, so I thought the being tired and the irritability was from having trouble sleeping."
"So it wasn't exactly planned?" Colt asks with a grin.
"No Colt, it wasn't," Saber replies. "But we've decided to make the best of it. I'm not against the idea of children anyways, even though we hadn't really discussed it before we found out."
A knock on the door is heard and everyone turns to see who it is as it opens and Dr. Izumi enters the room. "Ah Mrs. Rider, you look a little better than you did earlier, that is encouraging. How are you feeling?" he asks as he comes up to her bedside opposite of Saber, shooing April and Colt out of his way in the process.
"A little better than earlier, both physically and mentally," Amanda replies honestly.
The doctor nods, "That's good." A nurse knocks and enters the room pushing a cart with a machine, and pulling a smaller machine on wheels behind her. "Ah, here we are," he turns to April, Fireball, and Colt. "I'm afraid I have to request that you three wait outside. I need to examine her and hook up a couple of things. You may return when we're done." They nod and file out quietly. "Now," he says to Saber and Amanda, "Let's hook up this fetal monitor and do an ultrasound, shall we?" he asks as the nurse begins hooking up the equipment.
"That machine looks different than the last ultrasound machine," Amanda says hesitantly.
"It is. This one I can use just on your stomach. You're far enough along now, that we can see the baby better this way, although it's still too early to see the gender just yet. You have about eight to ten more weeks before we can check that, if you even want to know before the child is here."
"I suppose that's something else we'll have to think about, doctor," Amanda says and Saber nods in agreement.
"Very well, let's get on with this for now then," he replies as he turns on the fetal monitor. Almost immediately you can hear the quick heartbeat of the baby. Amanda looks over to Saber and smiles, the relief evident in her face. He holds her hand and she squeezes it, with him returning the gesture.
"Everything sounds good, so let's try and get a look at your little one," the doctor says as he runs the ultrasound probe across her abdomen. After a minute, a blurry image appears on the screen, causing both Saber and Amanda to gasp and the doctor to chuckle at their reaction. "I suppose this makes it a bit more real, doesn't it?" They both nod and the doctor smiles. "Just think Captain, if I can get you those glasses, you'll see even a little bit better than you can now," Dr. Izumi says watching Saber's reaction.
Saber nods, "Yes, I was going to ask about that. When did you want to attempt to do those tests? I was hoping we could go home before too long."
"I was going to suggest that you come with me when we're through here. Once we do the tests, I can get the glasses made up in our lab. That should only take a couple of hours, especially if I put a rush on it. Perhaps the others that were here could keep your wife company while you come with me?"
"That would be fine with me, Saber. I think you getting the glasses are a good idea, maybe then we can get home sooner."
"I'll go and get them then, if we're through here, doctor," Saber says. The doctor nods and Saber heads out the door, coming back a short time later with the others in tow. "All right doctor, let's go and do these tests," Saber says and he and the doctor leave.
The constant sound of the baby's heartbeat resounds through the room and Colt looks at the monitor and smiles, "It sounds like a good heartbeat."
Amanda nods, "The doctor said it's within normal range. We got to see the baby on an ultrasound too. That was great. It made it all so real, more definite."
"So, is Saber okay?" Fireball asks.
"Yeah, why do you ask?"
"Well, he left with the doctor for some tests. I was thinking maybe he was having problems again or something."
"No, just routine stuff, since he had his head knocked around again. We're trying to get all of the necessary tests out of the way so that we can just go home and rest. I think both of us would relax better there."
"I'm sure you'd be more comfortable," April says.
"I suppose all things considered, the pregnancy itself hasn't been too bad. It's just everything else that has been a bit insane."
Colt laughs, "I'm surprised that you haven't lost it, Amanda. I think even I would have in your place."
"That's not a far stretch for you anyways, Cowboy," April retorts, making Amanda laugh, but immediately regretting it and wincing in pain. "I'm sorry, Amanda. I didn't mean to make you hurt."
"It's okay. He left himself open for that one," Amanda says with a weak smile.
"Hey!" Colt replies mimicking being hurt.
Amanda grins and Colt shakes his head. "You've been around the others too long," he says with a laugh.
Amanda smiles and visibly relaxes a little, "I'm glad you all came. It makes things seem a bit more normal."
They talk a while longer and eventually Saber returns with Commander Eagle. "Well, it looks like you are faring better than earlier, Amanda," Commander Eagle says.
Amanda nods, "I'm feeling a little better, sir. I've got a long way to go, but I know things will be all right. I've been injured far worse than this."
Commander Eagle laughs, "Yes, but you weren't pregnant then either."
"That is true, sir," Amanda replies.
"Okay, I want you three to give them some peace for a while and come with me to talk to the other Tirpitz crew members."
They nod and after saying their good-byes they leave with Commander Eagle.
Saber sits on the edge of the bed and turns so he can face Amanda, "So how are you really feeling, Love?"
"I'm okay. I guess I'm still in shock over the whole thing, but hearing the baby's heartbeat has actually helped me calm down and sort of accept that what is done is done. I know that if I had not killed him, me, our child and you would have died. Knowing that is helping me to not lose it mentally," she pauses and studies his expression carefully, "How did you come out?"
"Well, in a couple of hours, Dr. Izumi is going to bring me some prescription sunglasses. They are a sort of transitional pair. Inside, they won't be quite as dark as they will get if I go outside. So they won't be quite as dark as I've got now when I'm inside, but with the prescription lenses, I should be able to see almost normally. It was a rather strange thing to be able to decipher letters on a page after a couple of years of not being able to read."
Amanda smiles, "So you'll be able to see the baby when it's born? The doctor thinks it's most likely a permanent thing?"
Saber nods, "He seems to think so," he replies smiling and then kisses her briefly.
A knock at the door draws their attention. The door opens and Alex walks in not waiting for a reply.
"Alex?" Amanda says surprised.
"I'm sorry for not waiting, but I didn't want to be seen entering your room," Alex replies.
"Why?" Saber says his guard going up and he protectively places himself between Alex and Amanda.
"Because they would have tried to stop me. When I asked to see you earlier, I was told you were to have no visitors. But we need to talk. I know what happened to Derrick." Amanda starts to reply and he holds up a hand to stop her, "Sarah also knows that her brother was killed and the manner in which he died." Amanda looks away and Alex ventures closer. "Neither one of us hold you accountable for his death, Amanda. We have talked with Commander Eagle, Mr. Wilcox, and Mr. Hikari. The latter two said told us what happened in detail. They said they were witness to it. You did all you could, we cannot fault you. Mr. Wilcox said that you tried to reason with him, but that he continually attacked you and then threatened your life."
Amanda nods, tears streaming down her cheeks again. "And by threatening my life, he threatened the life of our unborn child," she replies and sees Alex's eyes widen in shock.
"You're pregnant?" he asks in surprise. Amanda nods. "Then why did you even go out?"
"To protect our way of life and to help all of you," she replies quietly.
Alex shakes his head and sighs, "If I had known, I would have fought you coming out."
"Good luck with that. She is rather persistent. I don't even argue with her if I can avoid it. I've learned that it usually does little good," Saber says with a chuckle. "However, in hindsight, I should have told her that neither of us were going."
"So you knew she was pregnant and still you both went?" Alex asks, the anger apparent in his voice.
Saber nods, "We had just found out. It was a bit of a surprise. I suppose we were still in shock about it."
"So how far along are you?" Alex asks forcing his anger to retreat.
"Three months," Amanda replies.
"And you just found out?" Alex asks in disbelief.
"A little more than a week ago, yes," Amanda admits.
Alex shakes his head. "Unbelievable," he says. "I do have another question, Sarah would like to talk to you, would that be all right?" Amanda gives Saber a nervous glance. "She's not mad at you, she wants to check on you, actually. She was more worried about you than her brother," Alex states.
Amanda nods hesitantly, "I suppose it would be okay. When did she want to come?"
"Whenever you would permit it," he replies.
"Where is she? I can go and bring here here. That way you don't have to sneak in again," Saber offers.
"She's in the main waiting room. I came back when the desk person was responding to someone else."
Saber nods, "I'll go and get her. Will you be all right, Love?"
"I'll be fine," Amanda says and Saber heads out the door, leaving Amanda and Alex alone.
Amanda watches Alex nervously, "So, you really aren't mad at me?" she asks breaking the uneasy silence.
Alex looks up, "No, you did what you had to do, Amanda. I respect you for having the guts to do it. I'm not sure I could have if it had been me in your place."
"Not the first time I've heard that today," she says quietly. "Even Saber said that he might not have been able to if it had been his former fiance."
"He was engaged before?" Alex asks surprised.
Amanda nods, "Yes. He and another woman were betrothed as children. When he was injured, she released him from their engagement because she didn't wish to be married to a disabled person."
"Sounds like he's made out better then," Alex replies. "He doesn't come across as so disabled to me."
Amanda smiles, "He isn't. Although at the time she saw him, he didn't even know her. He had lost his memory as well. It has since returned, obviously. So I'm sure for her it was quite a shock. Her loss was my gain though. Even despite all of the bad things that have happened, I am glad that I am with Saber."
Alex nods, "You seem like a good match."
The door opens and Saber comes in followed by Sarah. "Hello, Amanda. Are you all right?" Sarah asks, the concern evident in her voice and on her face.
"I'm okay," Amanda replies. "I'm sorry about Derrick," she adds barely audible.
Sarah comes over to the other side of her bed and hugs her gently, "Amanda, I have heard what transpired, you did your best to not do it, but it could not be helped. Derrick chose his fate when he attacked you. Although I will say that I was unaware you knew how to fight with a sword."
Amanda hugs her back and then releases her, "I didn't know how to fight when you knew me before. Saber taught me to fight. It was one way that I was working with him. I had him teach me to do things that he had skills in, so that he would see that he could still function."
"Well, it seems to have served both of you well," Sarah says with a weak smile.
"She became good enough that I got her a sword. It ended up being her engagement gift, although that wasn't my thought at the time I decided to get her one," Saber says chuckling. "I never dreamed she'd get so much actual use out of it."
Alex laughs, "Remind me to not make either of you mad. I cannot fight well with a sword."
Amanda smiles weakly feeling the exhaustion hit her from the past day's events.
"Perhaps we should go and let you rest. I don't want to cause you any more stress. We'll see you again soon, okay?" Alex says noting how tired Amanda looks.
Amanda nods, "Yes, I hope we can see one another again soon. Thank you both for coming," she says obviously tired. They nod and leave quietly.
Saber sits down on the bed beside her with a worried look. She leans up and lays her head on his shoulder and he gently places an arm around her. "Are you all right?" he asks quietly.
"I guess." she replies barely a whisper. "I'm just really tired and a bit hungry."
Saber chuckles, "Well, I'm glad you want something to eat. That's a good sign, isn't it?"
She looks up and smiles weakly, "I suppose it is."
"What would you like?" he asks.
"Some kind of soup maybe?"
Saber nods, "I'll go and see what I can round up. I could use something to eat myself." She lays back against her pillows and he gets up and heads out the door towards the nurse's station, where a young woman is sitting doing paper work. "Excuse me, Miss?" he asks.
The nurse looks up, "Yes, Captain?"
"My wife and I would like some food. Would it be all right if I went and got both of us something? She said that she'd like some kind of soup."
The nurse hits some keys on her keyboard and scrolls through some files and nods, "I don't see where they want her to be fasting for any reason, so something like soup should be fine."
"Thank you. I'll return shortly," Saber replies and the nurse nods. He heads for the cafeteria.
"Ah, there you are, Captain!"
Saber stops and turns around to see Dr. Izumi coming towards him. "Oh, hello, doctor," Saber says.
"I want you to try these on for me," Dr. Izumi says as he hands Saber some glasses.
Saber takes off the darker shades he's wearing and puts on the new pair. He blinks several times and slowly his eyes adjust and he nods. "I've not seen this clearly in a couple of years. They seem dark enough that the lights aren't hurting my head either," he replies.
Dr. Izumi smiles, "Well, that's good to hear. I'm going to have a back up pair made as well as a pair that is a bit darker in case you start with the headaches again."
"Thank you," Saber says.
"How is your wife doing?" Dr. Izumi asks.
"A lot better than I expected her to be, given how she was when we arrived. I think knowing that the baby is okay has helped a lot. She has stated that she knows there was no choice in having to kill the renegade pilot. The fact that she was at one time engaged to him I think is what made it more traumatic."
"She was engaged before to the pilot of that unit?" the doctor asks in disbelief.
Saber nods, "Yes. The pilot was human, doctor. But evidently he broke off the engagement after meeting someone else. I don't know all of the details, nor do I need to."
"Well, I'm glad to hear she is doing better. I'll be by in a little while to check on all three of you."
"That's fine. I was on my way to get us some food. She said she would like some soup."
"That is good to hear. Soup is probably the best thing for her right now."
They go their separate ways and Saber returns to Amanda's room a short time later with soup, and finds Amanda asleep. He places the soup on her bedside table, then goes over and kisses her gently. "Wake up, Love. Food is here."
Amanda stirs slightly and then looks up and smiles weakly. "Hey," she says sitting up so that she can eat as Saber moves the table in front of her and then they eat.
