Two
Nobody POV
There they stood.
Staring at each other while both of their hearts sank with every passing second.
Himchan was thinking again- it really hadn‘t been a good idea to come here in the first place.
„W-what are you...doing here..?“
Finally, Yongguk decided to talk. But it wasn‘t really what he wanted to say- he really wanted to embrace Himchan and never let him go again...but surely enough the younger one was just here to take his things with him.
At the same time Himchan wanted to punch Yongguk. Of course, he wasn‘t welcome anymore because he was still the one who left.
„I-I..“
He scratched the back of his head, lowering his eyes to the ground. There was no way Daehyun had been right when he told him that Yongguk would miss him, or even need him.
A deep sigh left his lips as he looked into the olders eyes again.
„I‘m sorry. I shouldn‘t have come. I was just...around and thought...hey, why not showing up at your ex-boyfriends door..?“
Himchan laughed nervously and took a step back, feeling that his cheeks started to burn. It hurt to speak those thoughts out loud, especially right in front of Yongguk while this awkward atmosphere lingered between them.
Whatsoever, not only Himchan but also Yongguk felt this way. The slightly older male bit his lower lip and got no word out of his mouth.
It bothered him, especially as Himchan sighed again, in defeat, mumbled something under his breath and then turned on his heels, shaking his head.
Not again.
„Wait“
Yongguk stepped out of his apartment, towards Himchan who stopped in his tracks.
„Don‘t go.“
„Why shouldn‘t I? You‘re not pleased to see me and I made a mistake by coming back here.“
„Who the hell said that besides you?“
„Well, look at how you look at me Bang Yongguk and besides, you‘re not even talking to me.“
„And what am I doing right now then?“
„I don‘t know! Maybe trying to get into another fight with me?!“
„Who is the one being a drama queen again only because I asked you to stay!?“
„Again? AGAIN?!“
„Yeah again!“
Yongguk crossed his arms in front of his chest and stared at Himchan, who on the other hand shook his head and stroked through his hair.
„Talk to me, Himchan. Why don‘t you just come in?“
„Because there is no reason for me to come in!“
The slightly younger one raised his voice. „I didn‘t leave you for no reason, you know! You‘re selfish, don‘t care about others and in addittion the biggest son of a bitch I‘ve ever known! Only that!“
The second Himchan stopped talking the neighbours door opened and a sleepy looking, raging Jonghyun stood there, glaring at them.
„What the hell, guys! You know what time it is? It‘s freaking far past midnight and if you don‘t stop shouting at each other I‘ll call the police!“
Then he disappeared into the apartment next door again and they stood in silence. Awkward silence.
Without another thought, Himchan now started walking again and passed Yongguk to enter his apartment, but didn‘t bother to get out of his shoes.
The older one, slightly confused, followed after and closed the door before also getting into the living room where Himchan sat on the couch and stared at his hands.
„Wanna drink something..?“ he asked softly, feeling uncomfortable with the situation they were in right now.
„No. We‘re just gonna talk and then I‘ll go.“ Himchan harshly said while glaring at Yongguk.
Again the older one sighed and sat down across Himchan, not understanding why Himchan was playing drama queen.
„So. You wanna talk? Shoot then.“ were Yongguks words after another short silence.
Himchan himself was just afraid to let his guard down again. He didn‘t want to believe in Yongguk.
Before he began to talk he stood up and started to wander around the living room- he wasn‘t able to sit right now.
„Why the hell couldn‘t you just let me leave. It isn‘t that hard, is it now? It wasn‘t hard the first time so“ he stopped in his tracks and words as he was about to pass the commode next to the television; staring at the picture frame which stood there, mockingly, in all its glory.
„So what?“
Yongguk turned around, annoyed that he had to go through this right now, in the middle of the night and in a really not fair state he was in.
However, as soon as he realized what Himchan was staring at he shot out of his seat and went to the younger, nervously biting his lip.
„Uhm...Himchan. Would you mind just...you know..not staring at...it..?“
It was obvious that Yongguk was uncomfortable with Himchan staring at the picture, while Himchan couldn‘t believe his eyes at that moment.
The picture showed no one else than him and Yongguk, a week after the younger had confessed his feelings.
Himchan remembered that day as if it were yesterday; Youngjae, Daehyun, Yongnam, Yongguk and him had been out for a picnic. It had been a sunny day full of joy and smiles, especially after they had finished eating. He had seated himself under a large tree for some rest as Yongguk had come over, laid down next to him and positioned his head in his lap.
The younger male had been laughing, while stroking through his elders hair. His other hand laid on Yongguks chest, whose hand also came up to interwine their fingers while softly smiling at Himchan.
The one who took the picture had been Yongnam, more to annoy them, but in the end it ended up as Himchans favorite picture.
That was the reason why he had framed it. Yongguk on the other hand had never said anything about the picture so Himchan just figured that the older didn‘t like it like he did. But he didn‘t care at that time.
His eyes moved away from the picture as he turned around to face Yongguk again, who apparently stood right behind him.
„Why....why did you keep it..?“ he asked, his voice full of doubt, as he stared at the older who on the other hand didn‘t want to meet his eyes. There was also no answer coming, so Himchan pulled himself together and laid his hands onto Yongguks shoulders.
It didn‘t take Yongguk too long to glance at the slightly younger as he sighed, taking another small step towards him.
„Because I like it. It‘s beautiful. You‘re beautiful. And the memories....of you and me. They‘re making me sad and I remember that I don‘t deserve it to be with you anymore as soon as I think about it. But then again..I don‘t want to lose those memories like I‘ve already lost you.“
Himchan was stunned.
„Wha-..the hell are you talking about..?“
He tried to sound angry because well, he still wanted to be angry at Yongguk. But if he said stuff like this he just couldn‘t. There was just this stupid little thing inside of him called feelings, which still had enough hope to forgive the guy in front of him. His hands found their way back to his sides as he tried to understand the situation he was in and the upcoming feelings- those freaking butterflies he hated the most when he had them in Yongguks presence.
„I‘m not kidding, Himchan. I regret hurting you. I hate it to know that you have someone else and the fact that I‘m not important to you anymore...that your love belongs to another person than me“
Yongguk just couldn‘t hold it anymore. He had just promised himself that he would do anything to get Himchan back and that would be to explain his stupidity. At least starting with it for Himchan to understand.
„S-stop it...please..“
Himchans voice was barely heard as he realized tears welling up in his eyes- there was no way he could trust those words.
The older one sighed and placed his hands on the youngers cheeks, stroking them softly.
„I love you, Himchan. I always did and I‘m so, so sorry that I never let you know about my feelings.“
Now the tears were just running down his cheeks without Himchan trying to stop them anymore. On the one hand he was taken aback by those words and completely shocked, while, on the other hand, he was dying inside out of happiness..the words he had been craving for like forever.
„D-don‘t...don‘t you dare play with me..“
As aforementiond Himchan absolutely didn‘t want to trust him again. He broke him once, so why not twice. Additionally to that there had already been one time when Yongguk told him that he loved him but that was only for an afterwards broken heart and a lot of tears.
Even though he really wanted him back, there was no way he would give in so easily. Yongguk needed to suffer like he did if he really deemed his words.
„I‘m not. I mean it.“
Yongguk pulled the slighlty younger closer, their lips nearly touching now.
„I love you.“
He kissed him endearingly, wasn‘t really surprised that Himchan didn‘t kiss him back. But he was indeed somehow surprised that the male didn‘t pull back either. He just stared at him, still crying.
After a few more moments Himchan closed his eyes and placed his arms around Yongguks neck, forgetting about his ‚hard to get‘ stuff and just melting into the kiss which he shyly responded.
The kiss didn‘t last for long though as Yongguk finally pulled back and sighed.
„What about your boyfriend?“
Himchan opened his eyes again and bit his lower lip, then smiled weakly and fondled Yongguks hair.
„If he‘s not being a complete idiot again...then I think I‘ll give him another chance“
Himchan didn‘t care anymore that he‘d been terribly hurt by Yongguks actions and still was- and that he just thought one moment ago to never trust him again- but he couldn‘t help it. He was just so freaking much in love with this idiot.
Yongguk on the other hand was a little confused at first, but then got what Himchan meant and felt his heart beating a little faster.
„No...wait. I mean your boyfriend. The one I‘ve seen you with in the club...earlier this night“
He gently wiped the youngers tears and looked at him full of expectation.
„O-Oh...him...well we...kind of broke up..after I saw you..?“
Now Yongguk felt bad. Really bad. Himchan did see him..? But when. There was no way he could‘ve seen him while Yongguk had looked at him. Because back then Himchan had just been obviously admiring that guy.
„I‘m sorry Himchan.“
He could imagine how hard it had been for Himchan to get over another break-up...but there was the question again why he showed up in front of hir door.
„Don‘t be. I think I never really loved him..I just wanted to get over you and needed someone who truly loved me and also showed his feelings towards me.. I feel so bad hurting him because I just couldn‘t....because I couldn‘t get over you.“
His voice was shaking a little bit. Himchan didn‘t really understand why he just had this thing for being hurt or hurting others- there was just no way he could explain that.
„But....seriously now, Himchan. Why did you come here?“
Yongguk still was kind of happy that Himchan didn‘t get over him so easily- not because Himchan had lost someone really close- because now he was sure there was a second chance for him.
Short silence came with the question and Himchan detached himself from Yongguk, went back to the couch and sat down. The older one followed quietly, even though he really wanted to know. But he knew that Himchan would tell him- he just didn‘t need to be pushed to say it.
„Well...Daehyun..called me and kind of persuaded me to come over and talk to you.“
There was no way he would‘ve lied about why he had been even coming- Daehyun also did not mention a thing about telling or not. So he just did. Yongguk on the other hand was really surprised. Didn‘t Daehyun tell him to ‚just let him go‘ and ‚let him be‘? And now he told Himchan to come over..? That just did not make any sense. However, he did not say anything because he was sure that still no one knew about his youngers feelings towards Himchan.
„...I‘m happy you did...“ Yongguk mumbled and put his hand on the youngers thigh.
Himchan sighed the nth time tonight and turned towards Yongguk, smiled a little and stood up, only to turn to the slightly older and sat down on his lap again, facing him and entwined his arms around Yongguks neck anew.
„Promise that you will never hurt me like this again.“
„I promise.“
And Yongguk really meant it. He didn‘t want to lose Himchan again. He hugged the young man and responded to the smile with his own gummy smile.
Himchan, obviously happy, nodded slightly and pressed a soft kiss on Yongguks lips.
He could be mad at him if he wasn‘t around him, but he could not be if he was right here wirh him. Telling that he was sorry and that he loved him. It was impossible for Himchan to say no at that time- especially because his ex-boyfriend broke up only because of his strong feelings for Yongguk.
„I love you, Himchan. I really do. You‘re my one and only.“
Now that got Himchan giggling again and he shook his head.
„It‘s not fitting you being cheesy like this..but I love you too. Still. Thank you..“
They kissed again, only this time lasted longer.
Even though Himchan still felt like crying, it would‘ve been out of happiness to have Yongguk back. On the other hand Yongguk was determined to never hurt his now again boyfriend ever. Also, he had in mind to thank Daehyun later or..the next day, whenever he‘d see him again for telling Himchan to come back.
They were both grateful that he‘d brought them back together.
