Split soul

Karma

Akashi held the red-haired little bundle he used to call princess, trying to suppress the urge to fling her from him. The smell was awful, no, horrifying. This was no princess, it was a monster.

»Told you so. You are the one intent on having off-spawn.« The voice in his head supplied unhelpfully.

»Do you want to be settled with this job?«

»As if you would ever give your precious little not-daughter into my hands.«

»You do not need to remind me every second of the day about my failures in regards to Kuroko.«

»It is fun to rile you up and I have nothing better to do anyway.«

Great. He was important enough that no one dared to talk back to him, so his own mind supplied the feedback. Just wonderful. »Are you at least listening to the explanation on how to change nappies? You might have to be the one to do that some day,« Akashi asked his other half.

»Forget about that. I won´t even touch such an unhygienic creature. I was born to intimidate people, lead groups and generally do things you are to weak to do on your own. Changing nappies is not on my list of duties. You are the one with the lovey-dovey-touchy-feelings.«

“And you attach these again. Done. Not so bad, is it?” Kuroko smiled at him.

“The technical aspect seems simple enough.”

“The first few times are icky, I admit.” He received a smile. “Don´t worry, you´ll grow into it.”

»I direly hope not.«

“Thank you for the explanation.” He took over to close the myriads of buttons on Tsuki´s baby suit. “How often do you have to change her?”

“Every two to three hours. That´s why the powder is so important. Sometimes we leave her without a diaper for a few minutes, but really only a few. Babies get infections so easily.”

“Is she sick often?” He drew his red eyebrows together in concern.

»You can´t protect her from bacteria. When have you become such a worrywart?«

»How can you look at her and not worry?«

»I am a heartless bastard, you build me that way.«

“She had a cold three weeks ago. I was so worried, she was still so small back then. I wish I could lactate to give her some immunity.” Kuroko picked her up and held her close to his chest.

»That´s a view I´d admire. I would lick his chest if he could lactate. Better yet, I´d massage it while he sucks our cock.«

»Shut your mouth.«

»I don´t exactly have one. I exist in your mind, if I may kindly remind you.«

“I know it´s actually good for her to have some disease early in life but I wish I could take them from her. She´s still so small.” He kissed her red hair. It was much too easy to imagine that she was his. She had exactly his pinkish red color.

»Why are you telling me to shut up when you are the one thinking about ravaging him for another baby? It would be easy to get between his legs. It´s easy to smell he is ready for another pregnancy. Just as easy to notice as your readiness for fucking him senseless.«

“So, what partner do you think would suit me? What should I look for?” He asked instead, taking a step away from the Omega.

“Well, you are a nice gentleman, so I think your type would an Omega girl you can protect but also parade around. I don´t think she should be too shy, you need a strong partner. Maybe a cocky girl or boy with a good control over his or her hormonal reactions. Though I think you will choose a girl rather than a boy.”

»If you ask me, being a nice gentleman is a facade you keep. If you want to be happy in a relationship, you need to be honest. You like your partners in pain. You like the feeling of might when they cry and beg during sex. You like them completely enthralled with you, telling you that their most feverent dream is to die with your cock inside of them.«

He should not like that image. He really should not. But he could feel himself shudder in anticipation, wishing he could split not only his soul but his body to penetrate someone from both ends with both parts of his soul. Someone bound up, covered with welts and gagged with his cock. He often dreamed about that, sometimes taking one-night-stands pressed against a mirror to feel as if his other half was with him and not only in his head. He hated and feared his fantasies, but his more honest self was right, it would be a bad idea to deny himself his own urges.

“I can only see you with someone standing on her own two feet, firm in life and in her wishes and preferences. Maybe someone a bit older than you.” Kuroko smiled coyly. “I can even imagine you ending up with a cougar.”

“And you think that would suit my image?” Akashi smiled back, letting out a hint of pheromones as a warning.

»Even your little maiden recognizes that you need someone who tolerates your sexual kinks.« Somehow his alter ego sounded smug. »He might not exactly know why but his estimate is correct. If you could triple yourself, you´d stuff all her holes.«

»I did not need that visual, thank you very much.«

»Aren´t you past the point of youthful erections in public places?«

»This is my own manor.«

»With your beloved right in front of you that stars in about eighty percent of your fantasies. You could simply take him, you know?«

»I would never.«

»That´s what makes you a pussy. Your father is dead. There is nothing to hold you back.«

»He has a mate I would need to kill.«

»I don´t see the problem.«

They went back to the lounge room Kuroko had made into his kids´ current playground. Kagami was already back, zipping through the television. He smiled at seeing his mate, taking Tsuki into his arms and playing with her while she squealed in joy.

»I would kill Tetsu with that.«

»Just fill him up with our sperm, he´ll soon forget about that oaf.«

»The answer is no. I do have a concept of morality.«

»And that is why I was born. You can´t survive in our world with morality.«

»That´s why you still exist and haven´t become a part of me.« Well, that would shut him up for a bit. Akashi enjoyed the few seconds of silence in his own head.

“When are you due to meet your new team?” He sat down to make a bit of small-talk with Kuroko and his mate.

“Tomorrow.” Kagami grinned. “I can´t wait to play Aomine again.”

»Will he ever grow up?«

»Happy men don´t grow up. It´s why CEOs are never happy.« He was inclined to agree with his more sarcastic self. How was Kuroko able to stand that radiantly shining smile?

»Will we merge if we ever grow happy?«

What an uncharacteristic comment for his alter ego. He even sounded slightly thoughtful. »I thought you were sure we lost that ability.«

»Merging or being happy? Merging should not be too hard, though you would have to face your memories from an emotional perspective. Being happy seems harder, I do notice your struggles.«

»That does sound disturbingly empathic coming from you.« While he held the conversation with his alter ego, he sat down on the sofa and watched the happy couple play with their baby.

»I do not have empathy. To me, you look like a floundering child and I cannot comprehend why you would wish to have emotions. But I do know intellectually that I am a deficient split soul and complete human souls cannot function like I do. I just miss having regular sex.«

»I miss a bit more than that.« A relationship. A family. Friends. Any kind of positive social interaction really. What he watched was beautiful as well as painful. It was better than being alone, but watching happy people was lonely when you missed so much.

“Airplane!” Kagami held up his daughter who laughed loudly, steering her through the air towards her godfather. “Airplane coming in at Tokio airport.”

“Landing cleared,” Akashi replied and held out his arms for her. Playing. When was the last time he had played? Was he even able to?

But his little princess was yawning hugely, so he cooed her to sleep. He leaned back to lay her on his chest. It was a bit less lonely, but not enough. He wanted a partner, not a child, an equal, not only someone to care for. He needed someone to care for him. Simply owning an Omega would not be enough.

»I really won´t get you to kill off Kagami, will I?«

»No, I refuse. We lost our chance with Tetsu.«

»But you do agree we´ll look for a mate tomorrow? I liked Tetsu´s idea to raid the kindergarten for a suitable Omega.«

»It´s not a raid or a hunt, I want a mate able to care for me. I never met anyone except for Tetsu that suited those criteria.« His head answered with something like an annoyed huff. »We are looking for someone that cares for me and likes your sadism, it´s not that-«

»Our sadism. Don´t try to make yourself innocent. You don´t like them bleeding but you like them begging and crying. Just because I am worse than you does not make you into a saint.«

The corner of his mouth twitched. Well, that was honesty. He couldn´t run from the truth, from his alter ego, his own head. He would have never pressured Tetsu into oral sex himself, but yes, he liked the memories very much.

»You do know I can hear your thoughts?«

»Then I´ll think about changing nappies now.<<