Proposal
Akashi called Kuroko that weekend to invite himself over for dinner. He explicitly mentioned he would come as Akashi, not as Seijuro and explained what that meant. Kuroko agreed anyway but asked if they should find a babysitter. He told him it was alright if he came after Shiro´s bedtime. He did not want to scare the boy with being someone else than he had been before.
So when he knocked on their apartment door on Saturday evening, he was unsurprised to be greeted by a deeply suspicious, high-strung Alpha. After a few sniffs though Kagami backed off with evident confusion. Akashi just rolled his eyes while stepping out of his getas – he had honestly become quite attached to wearing hakamas, it was very comfortable.
“I made some steaks and potato mash. Thought you´d like that,” Kagami said gruffly.
“It sounds marvelous.” Akashi followed him to the dining room which doubled as a kitchen. “Good evening, Tetsuya.”
“Good evening.” The other stayed seated behind the table.
Akashi couldn´t fault him for being cautious. He sat down opposite the Omega and said: “Thank you for having me here.”
“How long have you been in control?” Kuroko got straight to the heart of the matter.
“About four months.” He took some bread and butter with seasalt. Kagami knew how to prepare a meal, he had to give him that. “A lot of things happened. I´d like to explain some of them, so you know why Seijuro has not been in contact with you.”
“I had wondered but I guessed he has been busy.” Kuroko mustered him. “How is Ayako?”
“She was fine last time I saw her. She has been taking the multiple personality thing rather well.”
At least the Omega had the decency to lower his head a bit.
“Yes, thankfully your little stunt did not alienate her. Seijuro planned on telling her anyway, it just speed up the process. For some inexplicable reason she likes even me to some degree.” He took a bite from his bread. “Did you make this yourself, Kagami? It´s really good.”
“Thank you.” The other said from the kitchen where he readied the steaks. “So you are here for some kind of explanation and apology? I find that hard to believe.”
“Yes, that would be wasted time, I could do that in a phone call.” He was served a steak and took some potato mash that was placed in front of him. “I have something to ask of you but you will need some background story for it.”
“It´s reassuring you don´t plan to command us. But having you talk for too long never went well for me either.” Kuroko looked openly hostile.
“If I could summon Seijuro for this, I gladly would. I don´t like my role. But I am the only one able to move this body around right now, so sadly you´ll need to put up with me.” He took a bite of his steak and nearly moaned. “This is great, by the way.”
“Thank you. I am all ears. Just don´t play any mind games and we´re cool,” Kagami informed him.
“As you both know, I have a disorder called dissociative personality disorder. I have more than one personality in my head.” Both nodded in acknowledgment. “Such a disorder normally stems from being raped or tortured before the age of five.”
Kagami´s knife slipped from his hand and hit the plate with a loud sound. Kuroko shushed him as if he could do anything about that sound now and reminded him: “Don´t wake the kids!”
“So I have been continually raped from the age of four until my father´s sudden demise due to … reasons.” He continued to eat some of his potato mash which was superb as well. “You really are a great cook, Kagami. If you ever quit basketball, you might make this your career. Anyway, we found out that despite our best efforts in killing off that nightmare, we weren´t free yet. I am six months pregnant. It´s what you smelled on me, Kagami.”
That one just blinked looking exactly like the dumb oaf he was. Kuroko had put down his knife and fork unable to eat. He would not look at Akashi.
“I was threatened by an unknown before personality into keeping the child, so it will be taken out in about a month or so. Naturally I don´t plan on keeping it.” He took another bite of his steak which gave him a few more seconds to think about his next words. His audience seemed rather stunned, so maybe he should go a bit slower? “Still, this baby is the Akashi heir. He´s about to inherit my whole fortune but more importantly, it makes him the ninth in line for the throne. It´s not like I can give this baby to just anyone.”
“You want us to raise your son?” Kagami concluded rather fast.
“That´s the idea, yes. You and Tetsuya are the best parents I can think of. If this child is not taken from me after birth, I am sure I´ll kill it the span of days. I have been getting more and more unstable these last month and I can´t even guarantee you that I won´t kill myself right after birth. I need to know that this child is safe from me. There aren´t many Alphas able to stop me, Kagami. It´s why I am here to ask … rather to beg you … to take this child and raise it as your own.”
“My own?” Kagami looked at Kuroko for a second and seemed to decide to keep talking. “You would want us to adopt your son, raising him as a Kagami instead of an Akashi?”
“I don´t think any child should be raised as an Akashi,” he replied rather monotonously.
“Damn straight.” Kagami nodded. “Why aren´t you asking Midorima or Murasakibara?”
“Shintaro is weaker than I am. If I lost my sanity completely he would not be able to stop me. Atsushi might but he is too easy to manipulate. If I put my mind to it I could work around him. You aren´t the smartest but it would be hard to get at either Tetsuya or the baby.”
“You would really harm your own child?” Kagami looked pained by that.
“I killed my father. What do you think I´ll do to that hell spawn he forced inside of me?” Akashi snarled back at him.
“Okay, okay, sorry.” Kagami put up his hands. “I can´t believe I forgot just how crazy you were.” He looked at his husband who was still silent. “Tetsu, do you have any questions about the proposal?”
Kuroko shook his head while still looking at his plate rather than at Akashi.
“We´ll consider this and talk this over, alright? This is a lot to spring on someone so suddenly.” Kagami glared at him.
“Of course.” He finished his steak and ate the rest of his potato mash. “I guess that is my cue to leave?”
“Please do.” Kagami had put his seat directly next to his mate that was still rather unresponsive.
“Thank you for the food.” He stood and went to leave. “I´ll see myself out.”
All in all this went rather well, didn´t it?
He informed his management team that they would stay exactly that: a team. Law looked unhappy about that but the other three seemed glad about the decision. He gave them exact job descriptions and contracts to fit their new job description. Law did look a bit more happy after reading his. After all of them had signed, he told them that he would take some mornings a week off until he went on vacation in about a month or so, the dates weren´t set yet. His team seemed excited about being handed more responsibility while still having him around to run their decisions by him.
So he spent three weeks going to therapy thrice a week and having less and less work. He got a simple message from Kagami telling him they would take the child. He went to get ultrasounds once a week until his doctor told him that the time was near and that he should check into a hospital soon. They had already made preparations that he would be treated under a false name there. His dates with Shintaro had been put off due to the fact that his friend had had his son two weeks before him. He had been the one to inquire about the paperwork needed to have the Kagamis adopt the newborn. The best way seemed to be to register him as his son and then give over parental rights to Kagami, seeing as Omegas were not allowed to adopt children by themselves and male mating bonds (or marriages in foreign countries) were not recognized by the state.
He had not gotten an answer to the question what he should name the child. On the day he checked into the hospital, a sullen looking Kagami came to visit and was the first to get a view of his clearly visible pregnant stomach. He had given those last few weeks, just not enough. Now that he had a private room, he had put off the hakamas and only wore loose sports clothing. His t-shirts were enough to contain his belly but not enough to hide it.
“Yo there.” Kagami greeted him but could not really look up from the stomach.
“Good evening, Kagami. I know it´s a strange sight but my eyes are up here.”
“Sorry.” The other looked up. “I still haven´t completely realized all of this.”
“Is that why you haven´t answered my question? I need a name to fill the forms needed.” He only needed it on the day of the birth but it was still good to have it as soon as possible.
“Yeah, Tetsu and I discussed it … are you sure you don´t want to chose your child´s name?” Kagami looked pained again. Why did people care about names so much?
“Do you want to raise a child called Enma? Luzifer might also work. I call it hell spawn.” He snorted. “If I give him a name, it will be filled with all the hate I hold inside of me. That´s not fair to an unborn.”
“Is it alright if we call him Kibo?” Kagami cautiously asked.
“Whatever.” Akashi looked at his stomach. “Kibo then. Kagami Kibo, are you sure about that?” He looked up again.
“After a long discussion, yes, we are. Shiro, Tsuki, Kibo, he fits right in.” Kagami sat down beside him.
“I hope he´ll be healthy.” The pregnant man looked away. “It´s a male Alpha pregnancy, he´ll be born early and he has highly incestuous genes. I don´t want to burden you with a cripple.”
“Let´s not think of the worst possible outcome.” Kagami watched him for a moment. “How are you, Akashi? Like … really?”
“My therapist will come by tomorrow, I´ll tell her then. I´ll have the operation tomorrow evening and will wake the day after tomorrow. The days after … Shintaro will stay with me. They hired a suicide watch for the nights.” And that was all he wanted to tell that man. It was more than he wanted to say but he owned him for taking the child. “You´ll be able to visit your new child the day after tomorrow. You and Tetsuya are both registered as people allowed to visit the intensive care unit.”
“Akashi-”
“Don´t. Just don´t. Don´t offer sympathy or condolences or whatever it is you want to say. Go and leave me alone. Right now I can barely keep myself together. Go before I hurt you.”
Kagami stayed seated though. After a moment of silence he asked: “Is anyone watching you tonight?”
He blandly shook his head.
“Then I guess I am your best shot at survival right now.” The redhead pulled out his phone. “I´ll send Tetsu a message that I can´t come home tonight. Do you know when your therapist will show up?”
“Somewhere around ten in the morning.” Did Kagami really plan on staying? That nuisance? Okay, he might feel like complete shit right now but having that oaf here would-
The red eyes bore themselves into him.
A blast of pheromones.
He decided to obey.
It was like being watched by a tiger. A ferocious beast waiting between the leaves of a bush, invisible except for it´s burning eyes boring into you. It was disconcerting at the best. Somehow he found comfort in the kicks aimed at his ribs, lung and kidneys. Kibo seemed unhappy about his lack of response. Maybe the little hell spawn knew how much it hurt. He did not give a reaction though, just somehow … enjoyed the pain. It would be gone come tomorrow. His body would finally belong to himself again.
Him and at least two others. Why had he ever felt invaded by a baby? There were personalities trying to take over his mind, that was far more annoying than some parasite kicking his intestines. He found sleep once Kibo had exhausted himself.
He awoke to an immovable tiger´s visage. Kagami´s eyes bore into him exactly the same way they had done the night before. He stared back before gazing away and sat up in his bed. Well, if he had Kagami as his watch, he would certainly be unable to kill himself. The other took this seriously, no question about that.
“That´s some intense focus you have,” Akashi mentioned while looking at the tablet with food on his nightstand. He must have slept through the staff coming in. Suddenly he was actually glad that Kagami was here with him and that he wasn´t unprotected. Not that he really had anything to fear here.
“When Tetsu was pregnant with Shiro, he would wake up two or three times a night because of his kicks. He would nag at me for getting him pregnant but all in all he would smile. What really got to him was whenever those kicks stopped. After aborting six kids and losing one he had a crippling fear of losing Shiro. So whenever our son actually went to sleep, Tetsu would panic. He needed me to hold him, to cry on, to tell him that everything was okay.”
Akashi took the cup of tea from his breakfast tray and found it not only cold but also overcooked. He would need to ask Shintaro to bring a tea set and a shogi board with him.
Kagami watched him for another long moment before he asked: “Why do you want to kill yourself?”
“I mostly don´t.” Akashi tried some of the – cold – miso soup and decided to skip this meal. He knew it would be his last this day due the narcosis in the evening but he would rather starve than eat this horrible stuff. “Sometimes I get overwhelmed by memories. Then I feel shame so powerful that … well.” He looked at Kagami and saw no sympathy. “It´s new for me. I never had to deal with shame or regret before.”
“You do not feel ashamed about what you did to Tetsu, do you?” Kagami´s voice barely contained his anger.
“Not yet, no. If I can ever work through those feelings that are more powerful than what the memories regarding Tetsuya do to me, maybe I will. For now, I sadly have bigger problems.”
